#this is actually crazy I’m in shock lmao

[according2thelore]

No, because that post you reblogged, about season one Sammy basically going stop hanging out with me and joking about season 15 Sam with “where are my kisses form mommmy?”

Yeah. YEAH. That’s the main draw from ls Sam/esdean for me. Because that shit lines up PERFECCTLY. A Sam that WANTS Dean to baby him and adore him? Dean would lose his mind. He would become psychopathic. He would somehow get WORSE. Because Sammy has been resisting that shit after he turned like 13. And Dean just got him back from college (the ultimate “get away from me Dean” move). And he gets to see this affection desperate ls! Sam that’s so blatant about it and centers out Dean loud?! Omgggggggg. Omgfg. It’s like being on restrictive diet every day for 20 years, and then someone just giving you 15 chocolate cakes and telling you to go crazy. (Also thinking the LS Dean is insane and a shitty brother, because why is ls Sam starved for affection?! What are you DOING?!)

And LsSam, who probably has definitely thought about how he didn’t appreciate being deans obsession back when it was still around? Literally would roll around in the mud. The mud of deans affection. Glut himself. Obsessed. Everything he thought he’d never have again. Everything he licked himself over not appreciating. Delivered.

Of course LS! Dean has probably taught himself over the years, and all the trauma, to be really careful about showing his sam obsession TO Sam- and is bewildered and horrified and jealous, and ripping himself apart. Because you don’t really notice every personality change you go though over time, you know? And I’m not sure Dean would even realize he’s gotten less “mommy” and affectionate over the years. They still have their big emotional “I love you so much” thing at least once an apocalypse. Maybe he doesn’t see that’s it’s…different.

And ES Sam isn’t there because that’s not my thing 😂

hello!!! (the post in question!)

EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!

ES!Dean would become UNHINGED the first time he calls LS!Sam "sammy" when LS!Sam gets his shit rocked on a hunt and LS!Sam just kind of melts into the arm around his shoulder, joking lightly about how dean's going to have to carry him out of there.

dean's entire brain does a hard-reboot. blue screen and high pitched whirring and the whole thing.

he actually tries, legs shaking and stumbling underneath the weight of a full-grown thirty-something year old sam, who huffs and pained laugh and asks to be let down. ES!Dean is obsessed. because what the fuck do you MEAN LS!Sam leans into his arm and laughs gently and loves being called sammy and looks up at him with big, wet eyes and lets dean pet over his busted ribs??? WHAT THE FUCK??

ES!Dean goes full mommy-mode, lmao. they limp back to the impala, ES!Dean insisting that sammy take a few breaks, because he's looking pale. sam obeys every time, leaning a little more into dean while he gasps for breath, making little jokes about the monster or the weather or dean's fucking face--dean has no idea, his brain is on fire.

when they make it back to the car, dean insists on getting in the back with LS!Sam, and to LS!Dean's shock, LS!Sam agrees. ES!Sam awkwardly slides into the front seat while ES!Dean coos over LS!Sam in the backseat. LS!Dean almost crashes the fucking car when ES!Dean pushes LS!Sam's hair off of his forehead.

"it's gonna be okay, little brother, gonna get you patched up." ES!Dean says, just loud enough for LS!Sam to hear over the rumbling guitar of the radio. LS!Sam's entire world has shifted a little bit, because ES!Dean is so naked about it.

usually, if nothing's broken, LS!Dean will give him a clap on the shoulder and an opened beer, and chat with him to take his mind off of it. but ES!Dean is babbling about nothing in particular while his hands are all over him, his aching ribs and shoulder and hair and denim-clad knee and--LS!Sam's eyes almost roll back into his head like he just got a hit of his drug of choice--dean wipes a bit of dirt off of the side of his face with his shirtsleeve, absently, like he's not even thinking about it. he hasn't done shit like that since sam was...fuck, eight? eleven?

LS!Sam is so fucking exhausted after such a terrible week culminating in a clumsy hunt, and needs dean so acutely that he's sick with it, that he lets ES!Dean help him out of the car with a bracing hand on his stomach and an arm around his shoulder, and lead him away to LS!Sam's room for first aid. he doesn't wait for LS!Dean, because the hands on him are so warm and the familiar rumble of his voice and the lulling scent of cologne that dean stopped wearing years ago is soaking in every sinus in his skull.

ES!Dean deposits him gently on LS!Sam's bed and spends over an hour gently combing LS!Sam for cuts and scrapes and bumps. he whispers gentle and warm in his ear when he finally tests his ribs, apologizing softly when sam winces. sam is practically asleep at this point, even through the pain, so comforted and lulled and adored. he feels like he flopped back into a bed in a home he hasn't been allowed into for years. he's completely pliant in dean's arms, and dean finally pulls his boots off and leaves him mostly asleep on his bed, and switches the lights out.

their dynamic doesn't really change.

when ES!Dean makes breakfast for all of them the next morning, he slaps LS!Dean's hand with the spatula when LS!Dean reaches for the waffle already set aside on a plate. "that's sammy's." he says, sharply. he almost gets his ass beat, but when LS!Sam shuffles in, looking more well-rested than he has in years, ES!Dean hops to it and delivers him a perfectly-buttered waffle. just how he likes it.

he brings LS!Sam coffee and tea and snacks at all hours of all days. he follows LS!Sam around like a puppy, yapping excitedly about whatever's going on or whatever he's thinking about. he recaps an entire season of "la casa de los malvados," a telenovela he binged in 2003, and he's expected sam to tell him to shut the fuck up, but sam never does. he nods along and smiles and rolls his eyes at all the right points.

he and sam go about archiving one of the bunker's storage rooms, and dean gets distracted while trying to detangle some wires and just ends up staring right at LS!sam while he finishes writing an object's description in his ledger. it takes a few minutes for him to notice, but when he does, he doesn't snap or get uncomfortable like ES!Dean is expecting.

"yeah?" he asks, smiling warmly, an eyebrow raised gently. and fuck, if it doesn't sound hopeful. dean passes out and dies.

he notices a rip in LS!Sam's shirt, and when LS!Sam pouts a little because this was his favourite shirt, ES!Dean is practically tearing it off of his body to see if he can fix it.

ANDDDD lest we forget, ES!Dean has his amulet. LS!Sam can't take his eyes off of it. he's constantly finding reasons to touch it. he fixes it when the little knot of the leather cord travels down to sit against the pendant. naturally, he has to get closer, hands arms circling dean's neck like they're about to slow dance or some other ridiculous shit that makes ES!Dean flush from just the proximity of him. he pats ES!Dean on the chest for a job well done instead of the back. his eyes are constantly drawn to it like a magnet. when they fuck he insists ES!Dean be on top so he can see/feel it swing against his body WHO SAID THAT

LS!Sam goes to grab a spoonful of mac-and-cheese off the top of the pot ES!Dean is making, and ES!Dean smacks the spoon out of sam's hand, telling him he's not going to spoil his dinner, dammit. you'll eat when i tell you and not a second before. LS!Sam blinks owlishly at him before obeying and sitting down at the kitchen table, eyes pinned on ES!Dean like magnets.

ES!Dean asks LS!Sam if he blow dries his long princess hair, and LS!Sam jokes that, no, LS!Dean usually does that instead. ES!Dean falls asleep dreaming about getting to take a blow dryer to LS!Sam's hair, fingers scratching against his scalp, sam pliant and trusting underneath him as dean moves him this way and that. he becomes a little obsessed. when he's in the shower room brushing his teeth one morning, does he sniff LS!Sam's towel? mind your business.

ES!Dean is literally walking around with brass proof that he adores him. it's like all the parts of dean that LS!Sam beat himself up over taking advantage of is here and in sam's lap, begging to be acknowledged and loved and to smell sam's clothes. LS!Sam, for his part, can't get enough of ES!Dean's attention. ES!Dean's constantly checking in with him and bringing him coffee or water or chips, under the guise of doing something else. he hadn't realized how much he had missed dean being in his space. ES!Dean is trying to take care of him, as crazy as it sounds, and so LS!Sam is going to let him, dammit. he hasn't been taken care of, not in the unique way dean used to, in years. longer. a decade or more.

LS!Sam starts to seek ES!Dean out if he hasn't heard from him in a few hours. he asks ES!Dean if he wants to go do something, or asks if he wants help with dinner, or asks if he's busy. ES!Dean--more often than not--perks right up because he had tried to find something to do to keep him busy because he figured LS!Sam was tired of spending time with him.

ES!Dean thinks LS!Dean is an absolutely insane asshole. LS!Sam sighs happily when ES!Dean brings him a blanket before their weekly movie night. he tilts his face into ES!Dean's shoulder and inhales deeply when ES!Dean pulls him into a rare hug. LS!Sam has clearly been starving. and LS!Dean has clearly been starving him.

LS!Dean is slowly losing his mind.

LS!Dean makes sure to buy LS!Sam's favourite weird health chips and fancy shampoo. he brings LS!Sam an opened beer to find ES!Dean already there, yapping wildly about season one of "lost" like someone has a gun to his head. LS!Sam is leaning against him, seemingly completely unaware that ES!Dean has the edge of his flannel in his hands, worrying it between thumb and forefinger like a goddamn mother cat licking her kitten.

LS!Dean knew that ES!Dean was going kind of crazy over him--to LS!Dean's mortification. he knew how much sam despised his attention when they were that age. he would push dean's questing hands away after an injury, would need his personal space, would snap at dean if he caught him staring.

but LS!Dean finds himself staring at ES!Dean staring at LS!Sam while he reads. they're sitting right next to each other, while LS!Dean sits across the table. LS!Sam looks up and catches him staring. ES!Dean flushes madly but doesn't say anything. LS!Sam...smiles. and he doesn't stop smiling. even after ES!Dean goes back to his reading, LS!Sam sits quietly pleased and messing with the long ends of his hair at the back of his neck, like he does when he's content.

LS!Dean is kind of shell-shocked.

he didn't think LS!Sam wanted or needed that. hell, for years, sam had been telling him in explicit terms that he didn't. LS!Dean tells sam that he loves him when it really counts. like in that church.

but...even as LS!Dean thinks about it, he can't remember the last time he doted on sam like that. when he finds out that LS!Sam has been seeking ES!Dean out to spend even more time with him, he's kind of devastated. he doesn't even know how to be that version of himself anymore. it's so raw and open and vulnerable that it hurts to look at.

he wants to kill something when he sees the two of them, heads bent low and laughing to each other. he shrivels up and dies whenever he sees LS!Sam bend down so ES!Dean can laughingly wipe jam off of LS!Sam's forehead. he's going to be sick.

he awkwardly tries to do something similar one afternoon, and LS!Sam just stares at him with wide, confused eyes. when LS!Sam comes to bed one night, LS!Dean holds him so tightly his knuckles turn white. he feels like he's losing him, to a part of him he doesn't even know if he can find anymore.

you phrased it so perfectly!!! ES!Dean GLUTS himself, he can't handle it. LS!Sam rolls around in the mud of ES!Dean's affection!!!!!!!!!

thank you so much for sending in this ask, and thank you for your patience in me responding!!!! <3333 i am wishing you the most blessed of mommy dean mondays.

-lizzy

[vulcanette]

ivy playing ascensionism in hamburg;

🎥: @ diamondzinthetreez

[miwiromantics]

I’m sorry, did Sarah Ali write ‘crazy together’ for byler. Like someone pls tell me she did because the similarity is actually terrifying.

[wh0reforcoriolanussnow]

would you ever consider writing for jacob elordi? b/c now i'm craving him with a lawyer gf too😭😭 like he would sooo be with someone smart. those airport pics? buying books for her. the world? shocked he's not with a model.

Out of my league || Jacob Elordi x reader

A/n: love love love!!! And yes i plan on making more jacob fics :) i felt like i needed to post smth so here 😭

Warnings: none

Wc:

For the longest time, Jacob has always stayed private about his relationships. Whenever he would be asked in interviews, he would acknowledge he was in a relationship but never went into detail into who it was.

Fans have since then speculated that he was dating a model, or even another actress. Especially after an interview he had where he was asked if he was seeing anyone and he responded with “Yeah, I am. But I think she’s out my league to be honest,” with that boyish grin.

The two of you met while you were at a cafe in Boston, studying for an upcoming test when he left his wallet at the counter. You obviously knew who he was, I mean, who didn’t?

Jacob found you crazy attractive. Not just because of your looks but because you were smart. It wasn’t everyday he would bump into a Harvard student studying law.

After about two years of dating, the two of you decided that it wouldn’t matter if fans found out the two of you were dating. No one’s opinion would change anything.

jacobelordiupdates_

Liked by 3,047,183 people

Jacob spotted at Sydney airport buying books 👀 wonder where he’s off to?

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user1: 😍😍

user2: he’d be my airport crush omds

user3: he’s so hot I cant.

user4: the fit.

user5: damn his gf is so lucky

y/n_y/l/n: he’s actually coming to see me 🙃

↘️ user6: who even are u 😭

~

And so when he came to Boston to visit you—the day before valentines—he decided to finally post you on his instagram. Undoubtedly, Jacob’s fans went into a frenzy. Going crazy at the fact that they were wrong and that he was not dating model, or an actress like they suspected, but a Harvard law student.

jacobelordi

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What the monkey on the wall says 🐒❤️

tagged: y/n_y/l/n

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y/n_y/l/n: mwah!

↘️ jacobelordi: 😚😚

user1: OMG OMG OMG

user2: everyone wake up, Jacob posted about his gf

user3: so she isn’t a model…… WE WERE SO WRONG LMAO

user4: did anyone notice her comment on jacobelordiupdates_ post yesterday 😭😭

user5: oh to be her 😩

user6: she’s a Harvard law student? omfg I’m curious as to how they even met

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: ☕️🔑

↘️ user7: IS THIS A HINT LOL

~

y/n_y/l/n

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nope not a model, just your average Harvard law student!!

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jacobelordi: so much better than a model babe 🥱

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: hehehehehe 🥰

user1: JACOB IN THE THIRD PIC

user2: isn’t that the book he bought at the airport yesterday 😭

↘️ user3: YES!

↘️ user4: that was what I was thinking too 🤔

↘️ user5: that’s so cute aweee

user6: the caption. love her for that lmao

user7: she’s so luckyyy

user8: the fact that everyone for sure thought Jacob was dating a model 😬

↘️ jacobelordi: they thought wrong. law students do it better

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: lol sorry to burst ur bubble x

↘️ user8: OMG OMG U BOTH ANSWERED

user9: finally, a celebrity not dating some other celebrity or model 😂

user10: how can a Harvard student be out of Jacob Elordi’s league?!

[doomedmoth]

War is Over

Pairing : Reader x Daniel Ricciardo x Max Verstappen | Poly fem!reader

Warnings : use of y/n, smau, polyamory, queer drivers, reader is around 30

Synopsis : You’re just a mechanic at RedBull, not much more to say. Nothing in your contract says you can’t be friends with drivers, right ? The little lines very clearly says you’re not allowed to show it all though. When your chosen “family” fails you, all you can do is hope your loved ones save themselves too.

Moth’s prophecy💡: Hi cryptids, honestly I have no excuses to give, sorry for the randomness of it all, I just needed to get this out to process with the pain of loosing Daniel. I can only hope he finds happiness away from the shit show that RedBull is becoming. Probably going back to hibernation, see ya !

[Messages] Dumber has sent you a text

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yourusername : How it started / how it’s going (swipe for my face when I’m not covered in grease). Hello to everyone new here, I’m Y/N, Chief Engine Power Conformity Mechanician at redbullracing ! Based in the never-sunny town of Milton Keynes, but you might see me around the paddock at most races to make sure no one explodes ✌🏻

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F1mech little miss mini boss 🫡

yourusername be glad to have me around to do the dirty work

F1mech Yes ma’am very grateful ma’am 🫡

redbullracing Your work is so crucial and we are happy the world gets to know you more !

redbullracing Also it was sunny last we came to MK ???

yourusername nobody tell admin we take out the fake blue sky windows when he comes by

user1 lmao I live in Milton Keynes and can attest we haven’t seen the sun in weeeeks

user2 never wanted to be a redbull neon sign so bad

user3 I can see why they hide her in the shithole that is Milton Keynes, the whole paddock would go crazy over her

user4 she would make such a cute wag omg !!

user5 bet every girlie is on their man’s back whenever she’s around

user6 she works for RB soooo… d’you think her and checo…? 😳

user7 she already has someone guys !! Though we have never seen his face, but I think she’s more interested in the cars than the ones inside them

user6 checo is married and still it doesn’t stop him lmao

user8 are you part of the pit crew ?? Never seen you before ! /g

yourusername I’m not !! I mainly work on the cars before and after the races and practices to make sure everything is in place, not faulty, and compliant to both Redbull’s and the FIA’s standards of security 🤗 but 60/70% of my work is at the factory, and the paddock parts happens behind close doors, so no worries

maxverstappen1 she makes sure nobody dies

yourusername and god knows y’all make it hard sometimes

danielricciardo yeah this second pic is so much better

yourusername oh don’t start me boy

danielricciardo hihihi 🤭

user9 hello Daniel ???

user10 How can I work at Redbull too pls I beg you I’ll even make coffee and mop the floors

yourusername check our offers on the website honey !! Most jobs require some experience or diploma but we also offer internships and graduate programs if you want to make your way in

user10 thank u 🥹

user10 that’s how you got in ?

yourusername nope, I’ve worked on cars forever and in motorsports for years before getting to F1, but we have plenty of opportunities in non-technical fields too!

user11 pretty, kind, works in f1, not single, lemme just Google how to be like you

user12 you okay dude ? Throat not hurting too much from gagging on her dick

user13 lmaoooo yeah seeing her looks that’s probably a daddy’s girl who got put in exec and pretends to know what she’s talking about

user14 wouldn’t be shocked if her “work behind closed doors” is ordering actual mechs around like minions

danielricciardo is your little ego so hurt by the fact that you’ll never be talented enough to get to her place that you’ve resorted to running your shitty mouth online ? Breath getting stinky mate, careful 🤢

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yourusername : Everything’s twice as fun with you

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user15 lover boy lover boy lover boy !

user16 I’m more excited for the face reveal than for my best friend’s wedding

user17 pls get checked wtf

user18 wait isn’t he blonde ? who’s the dark haired one in some pics ? With tattoos ?

user19 you might be new but Y/N always post pics of lover boy randomly, so some pics are old, and he often dyes his hair !

user18 wow damn I need his hairdresser coz this is cleaaaaan

yourbff don’t tell me you let him touch your car

yourusername lmaooo never 💀 tried to teach him to change some parts on his

yourbff and…?

yourusername ended up doing it…

yourbff at least he’s cute !!

yourusername Hey ! That must counts for something !

user20 not them bullying him coz he either doesn’t have socials or is not allowed to answer

yourbff what ? us ?

yourusername Never 😇

user21 oh damn she bagged herself a hottie

user22 HE bagged himself a hottie have you seen her ??

user23 couple goals and we ain’t ever seen his face like

user24 ain’t no need for a face with a body like this

user25 kinda looks like Max on the 6th slide no ??

user26 lmao as if

user27 the man can bag any celebrity doubt he cares for a factory girl

user28 the pic with the RB can lol

yourusername trained him well 😇

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user29 replied to the story :

oh yeah I keep forgetting y’all old money rich rich

user30 replied to the story :

so we all forgetting about Horner’s accusation ?? Truly just RB’s bitch in the end

user31 replied to the story :

Is that y/n ?? Didn’t know the mechs were invited to those events

danielricciardo replied to the story :

man I do take amazing pics when the models look so good

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yourusername : vitamin sea 🌊⛱️🐚 Australia, you never disappoint

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oscarpiastri wish we could have hung out more 🥺

yourusername we hung out at your house bby!!

user32 BBY ?? SOMEONE CALL LILY COZ THIS BITCH IS OVERSTEPPING

oscarpiastri we didn’t hang out you repaired my mom’s car while Lily and I were drinking WARM BEERS ON THE FLOOR

yourusername SORRY YOU CAN’T APPRECIATE MY CRAFT LIKE YOUR MOTHER DOES also hi to lils 💕🌸🎀

oscarpiastri DON’T BRING MY MOM INTO THIS she said she misses u 🤗💕✨

user32 oh

yourusername yeah

oscarpiastri yeah

nicolepiastri yeah

yourbff you need to turn off work like for reeeaaaal

yourusername how can I when those two are literally glued to my hip

danielricciardo shocked sad disappointed

maxverstappen1 Lover boy will hear about this

yourusername Are those threats ? Remember I literally have power over your life

danielricciardo not mine anymore lol Lover boy WILL HEAR about this

user33 oh so that definitely erases the possibility of Max or Daniel being Lover Boy

user34 as if there had ever been any evidence of that

user35 Lover boy in the Redbull cap ??

yourusername Yep ! Max gave it to him

user35 daaaaamn he is ripped

yourusername hihi 🤭

user36 no one questioning why the fuck is a mechanician hanging so much with drivers ??

user37 *chief mechanician

F1mech oh shit buddy thank you, we weren’t aware we couldn’t be friends with people we spend more than half of the year on the road with

maxverstappen1 cancel your ticket rn mate, you can’t vacation with us

F1mech come on user36, see what you’ve done ?? Maybe if you hadn’t questioned it I could have gone, fucker

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user38 has replied to your story :

Not you posting this straight after the checo announcement 💀

yourbff has replied to your story :

just saw the news, is Danny ok ?? Pls call me

maxverstappen1 has replied to your story :

Booked you a table at San Marco at 8, sorry I can’t be there tonight…

it’s okay, I know how it is, I just don’t want him to be alone… thx for the restaurant 💕

[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

user39 has replied to your story :

omg same

user40 has replied to your story :

IS THAT DANIEL ???

user41 has replied to your story :

the tattoos ??? girl we knoooow

redbullracing has replied to your story :

y/n ?

yup yup yup sorry

This story has been deleted.

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user41 has replied to your story :

lmao miss thing is piiiissed

yukitsunoda0511 has replied to your story :

i can’t find my controller d’you have one more ? 🥺

yes bby just come before your food gets cold

user42 has replied to your story :

She supports Max’s rights but mostly Max’s wrongs

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user43 has replied to your story :

preeeaach 🙌🏻

user44 has replied to your story :

all redbull employees protesting the FIA has me going !! Tell Horner to open his mouth too for once

danielricciardo has replied to your story :

I want this pic as my new lockscreen

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[Twitter] danyfanclub just posted

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[Instagram] danielricciardo just posted a photo

danielricciardo : l've loved this sport my whole life. It's wild and wonderful and been a journey. To the teams and individuals that have played their part, thank you. To the fans who love the sport sometimes more than me haha thank you. It'll always have its highs and lows but it's been fun and truth be told I wouldn't change it.

Until the next adventure.

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redbullracing 🫶🏻

user45 SHUT UP

user46 the audacity

user47 you promised you would treat him better !!

user48 Daniel > Perez

user49 DTS fan

lewishamilton legend 🫂

user50 game recognize game

user51 tell Mercedes to give him a seat

maxverstappen1 Head up ! Many more beautiful moments to come, somewhere you’ll be recognized and appreciated 💪🏻 our time together isn’t over, but I’m glad for all the racing, the laughs, the nights, for you ❤️

user52 wow hm Max no need to make all of us cry

user53 I feel like I’ve just walked in on something very personal…

user54 maxiel 😭😭😭

user55 he was the best mate you ever had, never should have left RedBull

yourusername Working with you was an honor, but getting to know and appreciate you made my whole life brighter, and I can’t thank you enough for this 🌞 no contracts can bring us apart, see you around honey bee 💛

user56 the little dig at RB’s contracts lmao

user57 why does honey bee feel much more intimate than honey badger ??

user58 we haven’t seen this level of emotion for De Vries, yet you were already working for the “RedBull family” if I’m not mistaken ??

user59 maybe because no one gives two shits about De Vries ??

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yourusername : Well, there it is. After 15 years of working on cars, the last 10 in motorsports, last five in Formula 1, it’s time for me to take a break. It was just perfect to finish it off in my hometown Austin, and I’m so grateful to my friends and family who made the trip to celebrate together. I remember my first week at Milton Keynes, my whole life in a suitcase. Abu Dhabi 2021, and those stories we’ll keep for our old days. I was so proud to be part of this, the champagne, the fireworks, the love. The day Daniel came back to us. The people I’ve met, the opportunities I’ve had, none would have been possible without you, ‘Bull. It’s been oh so amazing, but oh so tiring. I’ve reached a point in my life where I need my environment to be aligned with what I want, my values and the people I love and care for. So it’s goodbye.

F1, thank you for everything. I’ll miss you, but I gotta go. 💙

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F1mech I solemnly swear to not make anything explode, to always triple check my laces, to never pick Yoshi in Mario Kart because it’s yours, and to forever keep you close to my heart. Thx mini boss, you were amazing 🫡

yourusername Thanks Callum, you’re gonna make me cry now…

user60 US TOO 😭

user61 naaaaah another one leaving RedBull, shit is really going down

user62 where do you think she’s going ? Aston ?

user63 or Ferrari

yourusername Sorry to disappoint but neither ! It’s really a full break, for a while at least, I need to get my head out of the oil and machinery

user64 leaving England then ?? What about lover boy ??

yourusername Lover boy was never British eheh, who told you that ? 🤭

user65 if Lover boy is confirmed to be Daniel I’ll loose my shit

user66 I will always root for Max though…

user67 he has tattoos omg it’s never been Max !!

redbullracing Now it’s pretty sure MK will never see the sun again with you gone 😭

user68 we still hate you

user69 fuck off

yukitsunoda0511 🥺🫶🏻

yourusername 😚🫴🏻💕

yourbff it’ll be hard, but it’ll be good

yourusername thankfully i won’t be alone

yourbff not long to wait

yourusername yeah, soon soon

user70 ???

user71 I have a headache just thinking about everything the soon soon could be about

user72 really doubt Max is staying much longer in RedBull seeing how many engineers are quitting

*****

[Twitter] f1.driv.updates just posted

*****

[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

user73 has replied to your story :

no yeah we get it this looks much better than the factory lmao

user74 has replied to your story :

Honey bee ?? I’ve heard that one before

oscarpiastri has replied to your story :

Mom said you haven’t gone to see her yet ! Meanie !

user75 has replied to your story :

crazy how Max starts winning again since you’re gone

*****

[Instagram] f1 just posted a photo

F1 : BREAKING : Max Verstappen has announced his retirement after winning his 4th World’s Drivers Championship.

Record breaker.

Late braker.

Legend.

#ThankYouMax

Liked by redbullracing, charles_leclerc, and others

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user76 WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

user77 when I tell you I fell to my knees

user78 screaming crying throwing up

user79 I refuse to believe this is true

user80 what the hell was this season

user81 DTS is gonna have a field day with this one

user80 doubt 10 episodes are gonna be enough

redbullracing There aren’t enough words to describe the impact you’ve had on our history, Max. You’ll forever be a pillar of the RedBull family, and an icon of the sport. Tudududu 🧡

lewishamilton Thank you for the challenges, you’ve always pushed us to go harder. Never thought I would have to see you leave, but we’ll keep your legacy running 👑

user82 Alonso when ???

user83 Who’s gonna take his seat ? Honey badger comeback ?

user84 doubt it, he said in the only interview he gave that he had some friends to go see a few continents away, bet he was talking bout Danny

user85 April Fools ?

user86 In December ??

user87 I really don’t understand why, everything was going much better with the car lately

user88 I think he’s just done with the sport, he said multiple time he wouldn’t force it if he didn’t feel like it anymore

*****

[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

user89 has replied to your story :

wait, if that’s lover boy, who’s the guy you were with lately ??

user90 has replied to your story :

Sydney airport !!

user91 has replied to your story :

OMG I KNEW I SAW MAX IN SYDNEY THIS MORNING WTF I RECOGNIZE HIM

yourbff has replied to your story :

you did it bby, it’s time to rest now

ily, we will 💕

user92 has replied to your story :

The timing with Max quitting RB is so odd I’m seriously questioning my sanity rn

*****

[Instagram] yourusername, danielricciardo and maxverstappen1 just posted a photo

yourusername, danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 : War is Over.

Liked by yourbff, oscarpiastri and others

Comments on this post have been disabled.

*****

[Instagram] danielricciardo has added a story

The replies to this story have been disabled.

[Instagram] maxverstappen1 has added a story

The replies to this story have been disabled.

*****

[Instagram] danielricciardo just posted a photo

danielricciardo : From sneaking out of restaurants to barricading the doors of our shared hotel rooms, I wish I could have told the world earlier how much I love you. But I’m glad I can now. There’s something magical about finding the one, so when you find the two, you’ll make any radical change necessary to protect them. Think you were right Maxie, the farm life does suit us.

This was the Honey Badger, peace ✌🏻

Liked by yukitsunoda0511, yourusername, and others.

Comments on this post have been disabled.

[Instagram] maxverstappen1 just posted a photo

maxverstappen1 : Turning off comments coz those two are mine and you can only admire them from afar. I know they’re pretty. They’re mine. And I’ll say it as many times as I want now. Mine mine mine mine mine

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[Instagram] yourusername just posted a photo

yourusername : Oh, I’m sorry, did I say Lover Boy ? I meant Boys ���

Liked by lilyzneimer, F1mech, and others.

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user93 WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

user94 mother is finally letting us out of the cage and none of us can take it

user95 the first pic

user96 I could die

user97 who the fuck even took it

user98 she said “y’all won’t let me post their faces ? I’ll give you the whole sextape”

user99 I knew it I fucking knew it Maxiel nation we won

oscarpiastri so happy for you guys, go be free with the little goats 🥹

yourusername pls try to survive

maxverstappen1 and if RB tries to buy you RUN BACK HOME

user100 oh shit it’s time for no filter Max era

yourusername you’ve had a taste this year, be prepared for the real deal

yukitsunoda0511 finally i can stop pretending to not speak English when asked about you

danielricciardo you were pretending very well if I may say

yukitsunoda0511 thanks !

user101 oh yuki sweet summer child…

user102 don’t tell me in Japan already ??

yourusername you really took a good look at this pic and thought “yeah, those two are straight” ? It’s a you issue honestly

user102 yeah okay fair

user103 7th pic ???

maxverstappen1 Abu Dhabi ‘21

maxverstappen1 tasted better than champagne tbh

user104 oh so y’all are just leaking EVERYTHING now, no fucks given

danielricciardo I had to pay a lot for those pics to not get out back then so yeah kinda

danielricciardo which is a shame when we look so good

user105 sooooo… about the high performance athlete….?

maxverstappen1 yes.

yourusername yes.

danielricciardo 💕

*****

[Twitter] danyfanclub just posted

[dcandmarvelimagines]

sweeter than you ever knew. (pt. 3)

Series: pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 pt 4 pt 5 Pairing: Wade Wilson x Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader Rating: Mature Word Count: 3.8k Warnings: AFAB reader (uses she/her pronouns), 1st person POV, non-mutant Reader, canon typical violence (mostly all off screen), descriptions of dead/dismembered bodies, reader is injured (leg injury and slapped), the kidnapper emotionally manipulates the reader, on page murder. Author's note: Thank you so much for all the support it's been crazy!!! This chapter is a bit intense, I'm not going to lie. We just need to hold hands and get through this. But I swear, the next part of this will be sooo tooth rottingly sweet. It's so long that I actually had to make this five parts lmao. I could not stop with the comfort and softness. ao3 Tags (if you would like to be included or removed, just let me know. If I forgot someone I'm so sorry!!): @fallout-girl219 @xolosimp @o0aligoth0o  @thedevilsaysthings @jaeyuni @redmitsuru5 @jeffs77 @spideybv28 @trumanbluee @jennapearce13 @chxrrybomb22 @7soulstars @what-the-jams @lostinheavensworld @purplestars222 @movieat @whiskeyghoul @paintballkid711 @unmotivated-artist164 @sun7lowxr @minniekitties @ceobuggy @amararoseblog @harryshousewhore

The first thing I felt was rough rope as it scraped against my skin. I worked my eyes open, the task feeling too great. I was strapped to an old chair. Nausea swirled in my head as I tried to take in my surroundings. It was a plain, nondescript gray room. The walls were concrete. In the middle of the room, directly in front of me, was a large iron door. It looked like something you would find in a bomb shelter. Around my chair were shafts of moonlight provided by a skylight above. There was a bite in the air that made me shiver. My breathing was uneven as I weakly struggled against the ropes. 

“I see you’re awake. Wonderful.” The man with ice cold eyes appeared from the corner of my vision, a folder in his hand. “I don’t want to waste either of our time.” He lugged a metal chair in front of me and I cringed at the horrible screech as it echoed around the room. “Where is Wade Wilson and Logan Howlett?” I blinked, my brain foggy. 

“I don't know who those people are.” The man tsked. There was a flash of anger across his calm face before it was replaced by cool indifference. 

“Bullshit, we see you coming in and out of their apartment.” My stomach churned, either from whatever they shot me with or from the creeping anxiety.

“Oh you mean Al’s roommates? I work for social services for her. I don’t know anything about them.” The man grinned. It was vicious and predatory. 

“You are a bad liar.”He sat on the chair, crossing one leg over the other. “Why do we have photos of you with both men? What? One not enough for you?” He flicked open the folder and pulled out two pictures. One was of Logan and I on the fire escape. It had been captured at the perfect moment to have clear shots of our profiles in it. The other was of Wade and I at the bar. No, not just the bar, the bathroom. I was half exposed, Wade’s face against my bare breast. The woman who interrupted us had worked for him. Now I was actually going to throw up. I had been followed for months at this point. “Now, I’m going to ask again. Where are they?” 

“They don’t tell me about their jobs, I swear. Please just let me go.” The man shook his head with a hum, sounding like a disappointed teacher, sliding the photos back into the folder. 

“I’ll leave you here for a couple days, see if that jogs your memory.” Days? 

“Wait no! Please!” But he had already disappeared through the metal door. In the doorway, I saw a woman waiting. I blinked in shock. The woman, the one from the dingy bar bathroom. She was the one who had taken our picture.  My kidnapper nodded at her before the heavy door thudded shut. Days did pass, the skylight allowing me to count by the motion of the sun. My body soon grew stiff and achy as I sat on the chair. I wanted to sleep, anything to pass the time, but I wasn’t able to calm my mind enough. The shadow of the woman never moved from the small window. I could feel her watching me, my arm hair standing up at the feeling. To distract myself, I thought of Wade and Logan, of them bursting in here and rescuing me in a blaze of glory. But as the days bled into one another, hope started to fade. 

The man reappeared after four days. He removed the chair from in front of me, opting to just stand. “Have you thought about your answer?” 

“I don’t know where they are.” It was the truth. They didn’t give me any information about their jobs. They could be on Everest for all I knew. 

“I don’t believe you!” He began to pace, wearing a line into the concrete floor. 

“I don’t care if you don’t believe me, it’s the truth.” He rushed at me suddenly, fingers digging brutally into my cheeks as he gripped me. My fists clenched as I forced myself not to jerk away. 

“Stop bullshitting me,” his voice was a venomous hiss. “Tell me now.”

“Do you not understand me?” My voice had lowered too, anger boiling inside me. “Get it through your fucking head that I. Don’t. Know. You are wasting your time. Let me go. Do it before they find me here. They’ll kill you before you can even try to fight back.” 

“Oh is that right?” I knew he was toying with me, but I fell stupidly into his trap anyways. I was angry and tired and so fucking scared. My brain was barely functioning. 

“Wade’s gonna make a necklace of your intestines.” 

The slap made a stomach churning crack. My mouth filled instantly with blood from my split lip. My cheek throbbed in the aftershocks. Tears pooled and trickled down my pulsating cheek. Another thunderous slap caught my other side. Blood splattered across my sweats. It was so hot, it practically burned through to my skin. 

“What a shame.” His hand wrapped in my hair, yanking my head back, neck stretched too far. The warm blood rushed down my throat and I gagged. “You had such a pretty face. I see why those two kept you around. It’s so nice to have some stress relief. But it seems that they’ve moved on to a better piece of meat now.” He winced when I spat at him, the saliva and blood sticking to his cheek. He touched it like he couldn’t believe it, rubbing it between his index finger and thumb. 

“When they get here they’re gonna eat you fucking alive!!” His face twisted in rage. His grip tore at my hair as he ripped my head to the side. Something pricked my neck, cool liquid rushing through my veins. My vision began to fog, body feeling too dense, brain going fuzzy. 

“Sleep well.” 

It had been days. 

I watched the sun beams make their slow progression across the dusty floor, only to be replaced by the darkness of night. My face still stung and my lip kept dripping blood. I called to the woman who was still standing there, hoping that she would take mercy and help me. But I might as well have been shouting at the wall. No one came. No one helped. All I could do was wallow in my pain and loneliness. Maybe they had really abandoned me. What was I to them anyways? Exactly what he said, stress relief. Nothing more than a convenient body. Something to pass the time. If I was worth anything, they would have been here.

My eyes had just slipped shut, head lolling to my shoulder, when the door opened. “Good morning!” It was him. My shoulders slumped, hoping I could just ignore him, that he was just some hallucination. “Your saviors haven’t appeared. So we have come up with a solution.” I opened my bleary eyes when I heard the chair in front of me creak. He clutched my phone in one hand and a wickedly sharp knife in the other. He swiped my phone open before clicking on the screen. I could hear ringing and then someone picked it up on the second one. My eyes were fixated on the knife as he flipped it, catching the hilt each time. 

“Baby cakes?! Where are you? What happened?” Wade’s voice was horrifyingly panicked. 

“Aw baby cakes?” The tip of his knife traced my cheekbone and I held my breath, hoping I wouldn't flinch and cut myself. “What a cute name.” 

“It’s not as cute when you say it,” I grumbled. My voice was thick through my swollen lip. 

“What happened? Why do you sound like you have cotton in your mouth?” The man pinched my busted lip, fresh blood bursting forward, and I whined in pain. My nails bit into my palms. Over the line, I heard a growl, letting me know Logan was also listening in. 

“Sometimes I just don’t know how to handle myself around such a pretty lady.” Wade let off a string of choice swears and Logan snarled. “She has such a naughty mouth. I see why you keep her around. But it seems you’ve left her for good, huh? She won’t be too pretty once I’m done with her.” 

“Don’t you dare fucking touch her,” Logan was spitting in rage. “If you do I swear I’ll rip that worm you call a dick and ram it down your throat.” I smiled despite myself, something warm unfurling in my chest. They were still trying to find me. After over a week, they were still hunting. 

“I told you,” I hissed, “they are going to eat you alive.” 

There was a split moment where I knew I had fucked up. His eyes snapped to me, lips pulled back in a horrifying smile.

Then the knife flashed.

The pain in my leg was indescribable. I thrashed, desperate to escape the blade stuck through my thigh. I knew I was screaming but I couldn’t hear it over the pounding in my ears. Fresh blood from my lip and tears traveled down my chin. More blood pooled under my thigh, soaking into my ruined pants. I was only faintly aware that others were shouting and someone was laughing. 

His hand hammered the knife in deeper, the wood seat cracking under me, the hilt flush with my leg. I wailed, pleading sobs of mercy clogging my throat. “Stop moving so much.” There was more shouting. My head knocked against the back of my chair. The corners of my vision grew dark. “Do you want to say goodbye? Who knows if you’ll make it to see them.” All I could do was weakly whimper. “She seems preoccupied. I’ll see you two soon.” He tapped my face, the force just under another slap. “You sound so nice screaming. Maybe I will actually keep you around.” 

He left me like this, bleeding, trembling, pinned to the chair like a piece of meat. More days passed and the bleeding didn’t stop. It wasn’t normal. I should have died like this. Cold was lingering on my skin and small shivers racked my body. My bare feet had long gone numb. Someone, my foggy vision only registered them as a blob of white, entered the room. They carefully removed the knife and then eased me out of my pants. They methodically stitched my skin together, the haze of shock covered the pain of the stitches. Once a thick white bandage covered the wound, they turned and left. 

On the fourteenth day, I heard shouting. Then gunshots. My head jerked from where I had been sleeping. Panic spiked. I needed to run. “Fuck,” I mumbled, looking around desperately for something, anything, to save me. The room was mostly bare besides a table against the opposite wall. Then I saw it. 

The knife. 

I tried to wiggle closer, but failed to move an inch. “Fuck,” I repeated, desperate now. More shouting and gunshots, closer this time. The more I fidgeted, the more of the seat fell away from under me. Think think think. I continued to sway, lifting the chair onto its sides before it cracked against the floor as it fell. Then I heard a splinter in one of the legs. I took a breath to steel myself before I tipped myself completely over. I nearly sobbed in relief when the chair leg connected to my uninjured leg was the one that snapped off. I awkwardly propelled myself across the scratchy ground, the exposed skin on my left side becoming ragged. The rope on my left wrist began to fray, just enough that when I got to the table, I was able to yank my hand off and reach blindly for the knife. The blade caught my palm but I gripped it tightly, ignoring the bite of pain. 

I made quick work of my other binds, the knife almost slipping from my wet grip, and rose to my freezing feet. My injured leg protested instantly, nearly giving out when I put weight down. But I had to run, had to escape. I limped toward the door, and looked through the small window. I couldn’t see anyone, but I heard screaming. I had to yank hard on the door to get it open. There was a dead end to the right and a long twisty hallway to my left. I took a few tentative steps out. When no alarm sounded, I sprinted. 

The stitches in my thigh ripped right away. I couldn’t think about the pain. Only escape. I clutched my stolen knife close and ducked into any small nook I could when I heard people thundering by. I should have followed them, maybe found an exit, but the squelching sounds of limbs being severed launched me forward. I turned left, left, right, middle at a fork, up a flight of stairs. I was hopelessly lost but all I could think of was escape, running on pure instinct to find it.  

The smell of blood hit me first as I turned a corner. Body parts were strewn across the wide room. Intestines dangled from the ceiling beams. Heads, half crushed, lolled away from their torsos. I wretched, nothing came up besides bile. But I could see outside through large bay windows. My legs were like water under me as I moved to the door. I stepped on an eyeball, the firm jelly bursting between my toes. Just keep going. My head was swimming, nausea from the gore around me mingling with the searing pain in my leg. 

I collapsed. I could barely feel the pain as my hands slammed down on broken glass. Then I heard two men’s voices. I scrambled to hide behind a stack of boxes, jamming my sore body into the smallest crack I could find. “I know she’s in here, can smell her.” My knuckles turned white around the knife. My breath was weak, I had lost too much blood. 

“Could you maybe sound less like a pervy vampire?” I heard boots lightly hitting the floor as they spread out. “Do you think this scared her?” He sounded timid, maybe even a little afraid. The first man laughed. 

“What do you think? You pulled this guy’s entire spine out! Of course she’s fucking scared!” The shout made me jump, huddling deeper into my hiding spot. “Fucking idiot.” A pair of red boots passed my hiding spot, then planted back in front of me. I sucked in a breath as fear rippled through me. My eyes closed tight.

“Hey,” the voice was soft, barely above a whisper. “There you are.” I was so on edge, so terrified, that the hand with the knife whipped out on pure impulse. The tip pushed through something firm, before that gave way to softness. It sunk deep, blood rapidly flowing over my hand. I couldn’t open my eyes. I had attacked someone and they were bleeding all over me. My victim barely made a noise when I stabbed them. 

“You can let go of the knife, you're okay.” A hand caressed my face and my teeth sunk into the leather glove, jaw latched tight. I felt like a cornered animal, ready to tear into anything that came near. “Sweetheart,” the name, the voice, pulled me back. I released the hand and opened my blurry eyes. Logan and Wade were squatted down in front of me. Their faces were covered but I recognized the suits. 

My knife was stuck through Wade’s neck. 

“Wade,” my voice shattered, tears welling. “I’m sorry, I-I didn’t see it was you.” He pulled the blade out with a little grunt. There was a hole straight through his throat. My stomach churned again but I held it back. The muscles and tendons laced together rapidly before the skin closed over it completely. 

“Don’t apologize. I said the height of romance was stabbing, didn't I?” Logan reached out again and brushed a strand of hair out of my eyes. A frown drew down his lips when he saw the bruises on my cheeks. “What do you say we get you out of here, yeah? I don’t think extreme violence is really your scene.” 

Logan was examining my leg the best he could without touching me. I could hear him sniffing as he leaned closer. “We need to take her to a doctor. She’s lost a lot of blood.”

“They stitched me up but I think all of them have ripped now.” My head felt so heavy. “My fingers are cold…is that normal?” 

“We have to carry you out, is that okay?” As Logan asked, Wade was already reaching for me. He scooped me into his arms and clutched me tight to him. I hissed as my thigh stretched, head falling heavily against Wade’s chest. Logan walked beside us and I reached blindly for his hand. He gave it a small kiss, but didn’t hold it. 

After two weeks, I was safe. 

I was safe. 

But we had to get out of this building first. Logan walked a head to peer down corners before signaling we could move forward. Wade moved slowly, keeping a firm hold on me. He stayed uncharacteristically quiet. I felt limp and weak in his arms, ready to sink into sleep as soon as I could. To keep myself conscious, I tried to remember all our turns, but it felt like there was an impossible amount. There was a round of clicking and the shuffle of feet as we rounded a corner. 

“Ah shit.” 

“Fuck.” 

My sore eyes opened to find rows and rows of armed men. In front of them was him. There was a cruel smile on his face as he took me in. The woman was tucked behind him, her eyes pinned on me. “I see you pulled your stitches. You should have waited for me to get you instead of trying to run off on your own.” Logan snarled as his claws extended. 

“Listen here bub. I don’t make idle threats. So best believe I’m going to follow through with skinning you alive.” Wade moved suddenly, his back to the men. He moved far quicker than he had before. I heard men readjusting their guns, their anxiousness clear.

“And where are you going Mister Wilson?” 

“First off, Mister Wilson is my father.” I groaned as Wade placed me on the hard concrete floor, safely tucked behind a stack of boxes. He stood, “you can call me Marvel Jesus.” I watched with an unfocused gaze as his hand snapped open a holster and handed me the gun that it held. “Just dropping off special cargo.” I took it, my hands shook at the light weight. There was a flash of gold along the black metal but my hazy brain couldn’t make out the text. I carefully tucked it under my leg to hide it from view. Once that was done, Wade traveled back to Logan’s side. “What do you say darling?”

“Let’s fucking go.” My hands slapped over my ears at the thunderous noise of all those guns firing. I was desperate to drown out the screams, the wet slap of limbs falling to the floor. My first instinct was to take deep, calming breaths, but my nose was too full of the scent of iron. The time stretched, the fight going for hours. 

Just as a sense of shaky calm fell over me, hands grabbed me. I recoiled instantly. “Don’t be difficult.” It was him. He was trying to pick me up, trying to move me. But my body was dead weight and he struggled to lift me. Something cool pressed under my thigh. 

Now don’t be afraid of it. If you show fear around guns, you’ll end up shooting yourself in the foot. 

Okay, see this little switch? No, not me you insatiable minx. This. Get a feel for it. If you are ever in danger you have to know where it is right away. 

He was distracted, watching something over the boxes next to me, his arms suspended in mid air. A female scream cut through the rest of the deep shouts. That rush of time, the feeling that wasn’t easy to explain, snapped. I blinked in confusion. With the man’s focus somewhere else, I put every ounce of concentration into my hands, willing them to stay still, as I lifted the gun. I found the safety and flicked it back.

Now don’t get any big action hero dreams of just pulling this trigger and letting bullets fly. It requires a lot of force, so you have to pull the hammer back first. Make sure you hold it with both hands, okay? Last thing you need is a concussion from it flying back and hitting you in the head. 

My sweaty thumb slipped from the hammer. The movement seemed to catch the man’s attention. There was a split moment where neither of us moved. Then, as if in slow motion, he reached for his own gun. I raised mine and pressed the barrel to his forehead. Both of my index fingers wrapped around the trigger. I squeezed with every ounce of strength I had left. 

You can’t look away, pumpkin. 

You gotta make sure anyone who is trying to hurt you is dead. 

I didn’t. 

One second his head was there, eyes bulging in fear. The next, just a cloud of red remained. Squishy chunks of brain, shards of skull, and a splatter of blood went everywhere. It was in my mouth, in my hair, across my bare legs. All sound died and was replaced by a dull ringing. His body slumped before it fell. I stared at it, dark red spluttering from the exposed veins of his neck, the liquid pooling on the floor. The concrete was quick to drink it up. Logan was the first to appear at my feet. He took me in, his face unreadable under his mask. I saw his mouth move but it was jumbled, words half broken. I shook my head, tapping my ears. It was like a dial slowly moving up on the radio. The sound of bullet casings hitting the ground, screams of pain, the thud of bodies. 

“You alright?” Logan sounded panicked, his loud gruff voice cutting through the renewed sound. I nodded. “We’ll get you out of here, don’t worry sweetheart.” I nodded again. There was one last shout of agony before silence fell again. Logan maneuvered the dead man off me, throwing the body carelessly away. He slipped the gun from my sticky hands before hoisting me into his arms. I buried my face in his neck, taking in his scent. Sweet, earthy, the tang of sweat. 

“We got you. I got you, sweetheart. Always will.” 

[deadghosy]

HAZBIN HOTEL X ALBERT/FLAMINGO! READER

prompt: after causing chaos in life is paradise, you accidentally clicked the wrong “alt” button.

Oh wow- listen…I’m in my Albert phase guys…so yeah. ANYWAYSSS-

You just got done making your Roblox video as you wanted to exit out of it. You were going for the alt + 4 button only for the alt to look red and shine into your face. The light blinding your sight made you scream as you opened your eyes to see you are in a new area.

…. “Am I in hell…” you said in a high pitch voice. You panicked out a pitch scream gaining weird looks from the sinners. You still kept your human look but as you screamed, the control panel of admins show up. You stopped screaming immediately with an “oh.” And smiled evily

After wrecking most of the pride ring, you felt tired. Seeing an advertisement on tv about a hotel that redeems sinners, you thought maybe you could do some good here. So you pulled out a keyboard and type to teleport to the said hotel

You can go into the wrath, pride, and gluttony ring. It’s pretty real as you have the wrath to destroy things when pissed off. You’re prideful that you can’t be destroyed, and you have the gluttony to eat. A lot.

I can see you just having a small flamingo demon pet following you around. Literally you would make it bite and stab people. You taught it how to do the billy bounce.

The crew most definitely thought you were schizophrenic because you talk out loud as if you were talking to someone 

BIG HEADCANNON THAT YOU HAVE ZOOMIES AROUND THE HOTEL😭

“I start stabbing, now that the lights are out?” “Albert/Reader, please no.” Charlie says holding your arms down. The power went out and you were craving blood.

You’re just a little gremlin :D

Imagine how chaotic it was to not fling someone out of the hotel for fun 😭 LMAO A SINNER FLINGING ACROSS THE WHOLE PENTAGRAM.

“I’m taking away their happiness in a good way!” You say smiling as you drag a resident away from Charlie who seems traumatized. You were like an alastor 0.2 but more happy actually.

LMAO YOU HAVING A BAN HAMMER SO WHEN A RESIDENT IS BEING AN ASSHOLE YOU JUST SLAM THE HAMMER ON THEIR HEAD WITH A “BOOP”

I can imagine you having the same physique as the og Albert. Literally one minute you look like your animal crossing character, and the next thing they know you are some buff Florida man.

“I’m going to make them regret being born.” You said as you clicked an admin that made your skin black with red eyes. The angels came towards you as your cut their heads off.

The whole cast was in shocked seeing a human like you being so powerful with just a panel no one can touch.

“Being a baby will not prevent me from shooting you.” You said jokingly as this toddler was winning uno. The mother ran away with her child as you screamed out uno.

Angel started to rant about what he does for his job and how he basically seller his soul to this moth porn demon. After he told you things what the demon does to Angel. You snapped.

“BITCH I WILL SHOOT YOU!” Yells reader as they cocked their gun. Basically the whole crew has to hold you back as Valentino is pissing himself.

Vox didn’t even know who you were until Valentino started having nightmares and random shadows in his room. (The shadows were you lol) Vox had to look you up and try to find who tf you were. You were a YouTuber. That all it showed up on his feed as he scoffs.

Husk has no opinion on you. He only knows you as that guy with a flamingo. He would sometimes side eye you while you do crazy shit. But matter of fact you two are chill.

“We have different ways of expressing ourselves..” you say to Angel trying to comfort him. “I like this way, he can’t defend himself. And I like that.” You say shooting down a sinner while in battle. Angel dust just side eyes you as if you were actually crazy.

You’re not allowed to go into turf war with him no more.

Velvette has no legit problems with you. Dead ass you and her might be fashion partners. HAVE YOU SEEN ALBERT’S DRIP ON INSTA?! That MAN IS GOOD!

You have so much wanted posters, even you brag to others at how cool you look while destroying someone’s house. All because you were bored.

Charlie is mostly worried for your mental health while Vaggie just knows that you aren’t really the most mental stable in the group.

“STOP DOING THAT! STOP CRYING! What are you a baby?!” You say while smacking away a whole imp baby that was crying beside you on the merry-go-round

Charlie’s eyes widen at what you did. You were like a man child.

I can headcannon you deadass bombed the Vees tower out of pettiness. It was just funny seeing Vox shocked to his damn boots that his home was now gone.

Lucifer made you a duck flamingo cause of how he was trying to be nice to you. He knew you wasn’t a sinner or an angel of sorts. But you were a human that he never seen before. He probably makes you some damn pancakes if you want them.

Lucifer would probably ask if you have a flamingo demon form because you told the crew that you go by flamingo and Albert. You just stood there confused to what this short man was saying. But you just nodded trying to see if you could actually turn into a flamingo.

Headcannon on you just actually helping around by just replacing and changing furniture. You help Charlie with trust exercises as the resident are just confuse at a human being here.

“WHO needs powers, when you have a gun!” You yell excited pulling out a gun from your admin control. You shot downa sinner who was trying to fight you. Alastor just doesn’t see why how your “guns” are more powerful. They don’t even have angelic metal.

Carmilla carmine had seen how you legit shot an angel down with a simple looking gun. It was insane but amazing. She definitely called you down to her place so she can see what your bullets are made out of.

Imagine how you basically see people’s/sinner’s names as if it was a name tag aka username. You would go around saying their name out loud as they look at you scared and crazy. “Hello Hakka!” “How you know my name?!!!!” 😕

Rosie adores you, you may be man child that’s like a gremlin. But you are so sweet and helping. Alastor made you meet her and honestly, it was a great meet and greet. Honestly 10/10.

Headcannon on you and Niffty both killing bugs together. You use your ban gun as Niffty uses a sewing needle. This sweet girl made you a big crown, you better appreciate it.

Alastor had messed with your food making you pissed off. It was the end of the day and you hadn’t eat anything due to not taking care of yourself much. So your reaction was justified when you see alastor’s grins widening.

“I hope you choke on your next meal.” You say as your voice had suddenly boomed across the hotel. It was like as if your mic boosted it, but you don’t have one.

You and Alastor have like a sibling relationship as you two just want to watch people suffer. Literally it’s funny as hell when it’s that one Xbox meme.😭

“MOM SAYS ITS MY TURN TO CAUSE SUFFERING!” You say trying to get over Alastor’s tall body as he causes chaos in the pentagram city.

Sir Pentious didn’t like you at all. Like he was actually scared at his crazy and psychotic you are at times. But when he saw how calm and laid back you actually were. He actually started to warm up close to you. 

The egg boiz follow you around asking if your pet flamingo could play with them. It was so cute as they play with your pet flamingo.

Cherri absolutely loves you and your destructive behavior. Literally you two are a deadly duo cause you would give her some of your admin powers and take it back.

You once actually set up a limb store, literally you were getting that money✨😈 you had chopped off so much limbs got your deer customers.

I can see you actually taking people’s souls lol. You just take souls for fun and not for contract which leaves some overlords confused and scared of your powers.

Heaven would be scared of you personally. Like you are such a menace, sera sent your ass back to hell. Your human appearance was still the same tho lol.

Adam and you, beef on sight. “Why do you even have that pink bird? What are you, ret@rded?” “No but your mother is.” You said back while flipping him off.

Sera doesn’t like you. Your chaotic energy and your “evil” doing are not prohibited in paradise. She might tell Big G about how a human is in hell in perfect condition.

Emily heard about your presence by sera, she wanted to meet you but then again. You are back in hell. But she hopes to meet you one day.

See, me personally you would rob a bank for fun and then give it to some homeless imps in the wrath ring. It’s just you doing random shit while bored.

I can imagine you turning someone into the hulk. You deadass have so much power that it’s concerning and crazy for the hotel crew and rest of hell. You have alot of powers and you can turn people into some green buff human?!?

[merlucide]

PREGNANCY HC’S W/ BLLK BOYS PT2

notes: RAAAAAAH (og ask)

characters: Lorenzo, Otoya, Shidou

warnings: cursing, fem reader, cringe ig

bllk mlist PT1 PT2

LORENZO DON

awwwww

He’d be so attentive and helpful ☹️💗

Always making sure you’re okay and comfortable

When you tell him that your prego he doesn’t believe you at first

He’s like ‘Ha good one’

But then you’re like ‘I’m fr’

he gets all quiet and kinda like😧 

‘Mio amore.. a baby..?!’

HE IS SO HAPPY!!!!! :3 like is so shocked bc he didn’t think he’d REALLY have a family of his own <33

Hugs you so tightly and kisses your temple and then your lips <33

Also calls Snuffy afterwards lmao

Wants your pregnancy to be as easy for you as possible

You’ll kinda turn into a couch potato LMAO

He’ll bring you bunch of snacks for you to munch on— makes sure you get enough protein do you and the baby stay healthy

You can only glare at him when he goes for 2nd and 3rd rounds of ice cream and your munching on celery 😐

“Think of the baby☺️”

“The baby wants deep fried Oreos. Now.”

Rests his head on your belly bump and talks to the baby 

He’ll put his chin on your bump and look up at you— 🥹💗

He can’t wait to meet the baby <33

Tells you all the time how much he loves you and how excited he is

OTOYA EITA

FYI I hate on Otoya in between hcs so… I’m sorry I literally can’t write for him if I don’t hate a little

ah yes, this loser do better

pls like he’s actually useless 

ugh

Anywho- you tell him “I’m pregnant!” and this mf literally is the embodiment this

like his fucking face and everything

and it turns into

“SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT”

“ pregnant?!? With a baby?!” 

Yeah

He’s very excited to be a daddy! just so stupid.

He tells all of his friends and posts about it on on every social he has.

Literally spams Karasu’s phone 😭

Karasu had lost the bet that Otoya’s swimmers wouldn’t be strong enough….

Wants to be very involved with getting ready for the baby—

When yall go clothes shopping for the baby he just finds the absolutely dumbest onesies/ shirts😭

like Otoya, are you trying to dress our baby or fucking clown

HE ALSO ORDERS CUSTOM ONSIES 😭 they say sum like “Daddy’s little ninja” or “My dad’s my favorite soccer player” 😭?? the first ones cute tho

When you are like have back pain he’ll massage your back and run you a nice bubble bath :)

Oh and the pregnancy hormones.

Him and Kaiser tie for worst comforters during your pregnancy 😭

Unlike Kaiser- he doesn’t shut up and try to deescalate the situation 😐

Instead he just kinda stands there like

he eventually asks what’s wrong and just hugs you bc he has no idea what to do rn 😭

He cares though 😭 just actually so stupid

He panics a lot during like your whole pregnancy lmao

Scared the baby’s just gonna P O P out ig

Though he does tell you how much he appreciates you and the gift you’re giving him :)

He is a loser but he does love you and your future little one <3

Okay last thing but after the baby is born and the crazy mama bear mode kicks in, he is TERRIFIED of you. 😭

Bro wanted to hold the baby again and you clutched the baby and gave him the nastiest, scariest glare and bro almost pissed his pants

Sorry this is kinda short 🫠 I hate Otoya with a PASSION (don’t know if you’ve noticed) so my I struggle to come up with stuff for him 💔

SHIDOU RYUSEI

ah yes, this loser 2.0 at least he’s hot

sigh,

You told him and he just kinda goes “🤨” ‘Bffr’

and like, you are fr, and kinda really nervous too

Then he gets all quiet and blank

Then goes straight to tweaking and puts his hands on the head and yells

Starts jumping too 😭

Grabs you and kisses you so hard, followed by a bone crushing hug :3

‘Holy shit, Holy shit, Holy shit, Holy shit— SHUT UP!!!! A BABY?????!!!’

Very happy and excited:)

So proud of you and him <3

… unfortunately for you when he tells people of your pregnancy, he over shares about the process 🫠

Paints the baby’s room :3 adds some of that Shidou Flare ofc

Rubs your feet and insists you sit on his lap, despite your worries of you being to heavy.

Loves, loves, LOVES, listening to the baby— any sound he hears, he freaks out

Talks to the baby sooo much too

Worried that you’ll over do it and insists you just do nothing till the baby comes

Shidou is pretty confident he’ll be a good dad, but is scared that he won’t be what the kid needs

Shidou knows how he acts and who he is, and doesn’t want to hurt the kid :( which of course you reassure him that he would never do that, and that he’d be a great dad <3

Also super duper extra protective of you during your pregnancy, like you can’t go anywhere without him lmao

RAAAAAAH 3 NEW WORKS IN 3 DAYS 💪 ON A ROLE FRRRR

made October 6th 2024

[tiredfox64]

Hello! How you doing? I hope you're having a great day :D

I have a small request based on a funny picture I saw on twitter, where reader asks their crush/lover "Do you like sleeping?" and they're like "...yes?" then reader says "Wow, me too... We should try it together sometime"

I just can't choose which mk1 character, since I love all of them lmao. So I'll leave that up to you! Can be with anyone, sfw or not! your pick :p

Nap Time?

Yip notes: Hello! I’m doing alright, hope you are doing lovely （＾∇＾). This seems like such a fun idea. And you are letting me pick! Got me squealing.

Pairings: Tomas, Havik, Rain, Reiko x Afab reader

Warnings ‼️:NSFW, choking, biting, overstimulation (a bit), many positions

Tomas

Why would you ever trust Johnny to give you good advice? Trusting Johnny is a gamble, especially when you ask him for dating advice.

You were unsure of how to flirt with someone so you had to ask Johnny for help. And the help he gave you…was in the form of memes from Instagram and Twitter. He swore to you up and down that this would work on Tomas. You believed him, just like that?

So you tried it out. It might kill you to try to flirt but at least you made an effort to do so. You were a little nervous as you approached Tomas who was supervising the initiates. Immediately when he saw you he broke out into a smile. Your heart was going crazy from just looking at him. You didn’t realize the loving look in his eyes every time he stared at you. You two had a casual conversation for a bit, just the usual. You took a deep breath and tried remembering which pickup line you would use on Tomas. Something that will capture his attention but won’t be too forward.

“So…uh…do you like sleeping?” you asked.

He looked at you, his eyebrow cocked up in confusion, “…yes?”

“Wow, me too…we should try it together sometime.”

That was too forward girl! I thought you would be better than me.

You put your head down in shame before quickly walking off. A walk of shame if you will. That meant however that you missed Tomas’ reaction to your flirting. It was super effective! He knew what you meant because Johnny told him before. Thanks, Johnny. He went from his usual pale self to a shade of pink that only a rose could replicate. You’re just gonna leave him like that? All flustered like you didn’t just ask him to sleep with you. He didn’t know you felt that way about him.

You left him in an uncomfortable position. He couldn’t go find you because he had to supervise the initiates. But he was also trying to keep his composure and not think too much about being in bed with you. He can’t think about how his hands would be all over you, feeling your soft skin as his body is pressed against yours. Ah, too late he’s hard just from that. Pathetic. Better hide that.

The moment the initiates were done training he went looking for you. You were in your room, groaning into your pillows from the embarrassment you still were feeling. You thought this memory would haunt you forever. Oh how wrong you were.

Tomas was knocking on your door, still trying his best to keep his composure. You got up and opened the door. Before you could try to apologize for what you said he asked you something.

“Were you being serious? Please tell me you were being serious.” He said in desperation.

You were shocked. The pickup line worked? And he wanted you to be serious? Alright, ain’t you a winner.

You nodded your head and that’s all Tomas needed. He pushed his way into your room and only then did you notice his boner. It’s really hard to hide it with the uniform he has on. Well, go on, fix it. You started the war you better finish it. Get in bed! Scratch that, he will carry you to bed.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

Your groans of embarrassment soon became groans of pleasure. And pants. And moans. And whimpers. Everything actually.

The pickup line sure did work. It got Tomas into bed with you, naked and desperate to pleasure himself with your body. You heard him groan and whimper every time he thrusted into you. He had you on your side with his chest pressed against your back and his hand on your thigh. He held your right leg up to have easier access to your pussy. His other arm was wrapped around your neck. He wasn’t choking you but holding you in place. He could choke you if that’s what you want.

You had no idea how long you guys were at it. It was like one second he was carrying you to your bed, the next he was ripping your clothes off, and now he had his dick inside of you. The dick must be good considering you were drooling in seconds and could only focus on how much he was stretching you out.

Don’t count yourself short because Tomas is just as dazed as you. Your pussy was as warm and tight as he imagined. When he first slid his cock in he let out a satisfied sigh, like he was relieved to feel your pussy squeezing him. The passion he was putting into each thrust was phenomenal. It’s like he was trying to fuck his love into you. That love sure was hitting your g-spot and making your moans go up a pitch. Soon your leg was shaking and you were telling him not to stop. He wasn’t planning on it. Tomas was as close as you were.

That pleasure was becoming greater and you both couldn’t handle it. One more deep thrust into you and you both were finished. You heard Tomas let out whimpers and moans as he came inside you. He was still thrusting a little which pushed the cum further into you. You would have been moaning as well if it weren’t for the fact that Tomas started choking you with his arm. You were not complaining. The lack of oxygen with your orgasm was the best feeling you have ever had. You could have sworn that the heavens opened and you were looking at the angels who looked down at you and asked ‘Is he gonna put a ring on it?’ Tomas better put a ring on it because you don’t ever want him leaving your side. Neither does he.

Tomas finally let you breathe once he realized he was choking you which you thanked him for doing. Like the gentleman he is he checked and asked if he hurt you anywhere. You told him to not worry and that you were fine. Once that was over he pulled you close to him and gave you kisses all over your face. He could stay here for hours with you so he could cuddle and kiss you. That lovemaking session sure did a number on you guys. It tired you out that you were soon falling asleep in his arms.

Looks like you slept with Tomas in both ways.

Havik

You’re trying to flirt with Havik? Right…how well do you think that will go for you?

Havik is not an idiot but some things go flying over his head. Using unfamiliar terms might not hit the mark. You have to be blunt essentially. But it’s hard to be blunt about wanting Havik to be your partner and asking to have sex with him. Whoever could do that is a maniac or just extremely bold. That’s not you. So the best you could do is flirt and hope it hits the mark.

You approached him as he was in the middle of looking at weapons. That mace is looking really nice to him. Whatever, you’re there now and you seem to be asking for his attention. Not literally, you were actually staring up at him until he noticed your presence.

“What?” He asked.

“I have a question for you.” You replied in a shy tone.

He fully turned his attention towards you, curious as to what you had to say considering you never got this shy before.

“So…uh…do you like sleeping?”

“…yes, why do you ask?” Don’t fuck with him. Havik has no clue what you are getting at.

“Wow, me too…we should try it together sometime.”

There was a silence that followed. A long, uncomfortable silence followed as he stared at you. His head tilted to the side a little to indicate his confusion. This might have been a failure on your part. What were you thinking? You turned around to walk away only to be grabbed by the back of your shirt by Havik. He pulled you back and held you up by your shirt. You can’t walk away after saying something so confusing to him.

“What does that even mean?” Havik interrogated you.

You didn’t want to answer him. This situation was already incredibly embarrassing for you and it doesn’t help that he wanted you to explain it to him. You begged him to forget what you said and put you down already. Havik was not gonna listen, even you knew that. He wouldn’t let you down until you told him what you meant. In a moment of chaos and stress you blurted out the truth.

“I want to have sex with you!”

I mean I would have lied but good on you for being truthful.

There was silence once more. You watched as Havik squinted his eyes. You were unsure of what he was doing until you heard him let out a dark chuckle. If his face weren’t mutilated you would be able to see that he was smiling. But since he has a permanent smile on his face it probably works out.

“Why didn’t you say so? We could do that right now.” He said with pure delight. Get to it!

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

You knew Havik was a freak but you didn’t expect him to be this freaky. Who would have thought that the first position he would pick to do you in was the mating press.

Eight inches slamming into you, damn! Of course, he was going rough. He pushed your legs back as far as they could go so he could go as deep as he could. You were already crying and panting in the first few minutes. He made sure you kept looking up at him. He wanted to see every expression you made and watch every tear slip down your face. Watching your eyes roll back every time he slammed into your g-spot made him want to devour you even more.

Havik was beyond reason. His mind was only on one thing and that was fucking your pussy. You had to stay exactly how he wanted to. Every time you tried to look away from him he grabbed your face and forced you to look at him again. He wouldn’t let go until he got a nice reaction out of you.

“Aww, what a pretty face. I wonder what face you will make when I do this?”

You felt his hand wrap around your throat. Your eyes widened as you stared up at him. The excitement in his eyes was apparent. He squeezed tighter and went rougher. With the position you were in combined with everything else he was doing; it was no shock that you ended up cumming. Strained moans left your mouth as your eyes rolled back. Drool and tears were slipping down your face. Your hands could not take Havik’s hand away from your throat. You were forced to cum on his cock as he choked the life out of you. Sounds started to grow duller but the orgasm you felt was heightened. Every stroke was felt, his dick was hitting every spot down there. You could not ignore the painful pleasure you felt. And when it seemed like you were about to pass out, he let go.

You were trying to catch your breath but it was difficult since he was still fucking you. You were catching your breath in between moans and pants that were hoarse from being choked. Luckily for you, he was close. One, two, three more thrusts and he was golden. He slammed so hard and deep inside you that you could have sworn that he hit your cervix. Havik let out this loud groan that seemed to drag out. His tongue stuck out, causing some of his saliva to drip down onto you. Oh, he was satisfied alright.

Once his little moment of nature’s pleasure was over he pulled out and immediately collapsed onto you. He wrapped his arms around your waist. Tonight, you will be his pillow. You have no choice he is too big to move. Plus he wants to stay in this position with you. You are his girlfriend now. You both had sex that’s how it goes, at least in his head that’s how it works. You heard him lightly snore away. You were happy with the outcome of your pickup line. It worked incredibly well. You slowly started to fall asleep as you held Havik in your arms.

Be careful he drools in his sleep. Wait, never mind, he’s chewing on your titty in his sleep. That’s a bigger issue. At least he does it lightly.

Rain

Ah, going after the high mage himself. It’s an interesting choice to pick a man who might have never felt the touch of a woman other than his mother.

If only you had his confidence you could be better when it comes to flirting with him. Hiding behind a pillar and watching him do magic does not count as flirting. You can talk to Rain but if you try to suggest something or flirt you freeze up. He’ll ask you if you’re alright, you’ll lie and say you’re fine before walking off, and the cycle repeats.

But maybe this time will be different. When the tournament was going on you heard in the background one of the Earthrealmers, probably Johnny, using a certain pickup line on Kitana. It seemed to work since it got a laugh out of her. So it has to work for you, right? You could only hope that this man will get it.

The next time you saw him you ran up to him with a smile on your face. Rain was delighted to see you again. You always manage to make him feel warm on the inside. You get him thinking about you instead of his studies or his duties. You’ll most likely do the same right now. The conversation is going well and you’ve made him smile. Go in for the kill!

“So…uh…do you like sleeping?” you asked awkwardly.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “…yes? I would imagine everyone does.”

“Wow, me too…we should try it together sometime.”

The silence was loud.

“You have your own bed, why would you need to sleep together?”

For a smartass he sure can be a dumbass.

You were beyond crushed. Just like usual you froze up. You didn’t give Rain a chance to ask if you were okay, you walked off quickly. You left him standing there, confused and unsure if he did anything wrong.

The rest of the day went on. You stayed hidden in your room after that embarrassing fail. Rain consulted with Mileena and Kitana about what just happened. He went on and on about how he didn’t understand what you meant. He was confused about why you wanted to sleep in his bed. When Kitana asked exactly what you said Rain relayed the pickup line. In a matter of seconds, Kitana and Mileena’s faces changed. They knew what you meant. Rain saw the look they were giving him and asked what was wrong now.

“Rain,” Kitana started, “She was flirting with you.”

“She was asking to sleep with you. You know…” Mileena made the gesture with her fingers that indicated what she meant.

Computing…computing…loading…load-SEX! YOU MEANT SEX!

“By Argus, why didn’t she just say that!?” Because that’s not casual, Rain.

Rain booked it out of there, almost forgetting his water staff in the process. He was at your door in minutes. He kept banging on it with little regard for his hand. You groaned as you picked your head up from your bed. You quickly opened the door thinking there was an emergency.

“Be more direct next time.” Rain said as he pushed his way into your bedroom.

Shall we begin the party?

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

He can be an idiot at times he will admit that. Let him make it up by taking care of you.

You were facing Rain as he had you on his lap. He thrusted into you mindlessly while his mouth was occupied with your nipple. Everything about you was soft to him. He couldn’t get enough of your skin. His hands wandered all over before wrapping his arms around your waist. Occasionally his hands would move down just to get a handful of your ass. It’s too tempting how could he not squeeze it.

Your breasts were doing wonders for this man. The moment he saw them he pulled you in so he could shove his face in between them. He looked so peaceful as he sucked on your nipple. Your breasts have become his new happy place. Your fingers ran through his hair which made this more pleasurable for him. He doesn’t want this to end.

You sure were enjoying yourself. With the position you were in you were sitting right on seven inches. Seven inches that was going in and out of you at a steady rhythm. Don’t forget the fact that your clit was being rubbed every time he thrusted into you. Hell even when he took a breather and you would start grinding, your clit was getting the attention it needed. You were in a drunken daze, whimpering and pants with each thrust. It felt like his cock was reaching into your stomach. Every time he hit your g-spot you would twitch and bring his face closer to your breasts. You’re suffocating the poor man but he loves it.

Why Rain is so good at this is a mystery. A mystery you don’t care to solve you are happy with living in this cock drunken state.

This party must come to an end. You both had your fun and you couldn’t hold back your orgasm. You felt Rain’s cock twitch inside you, letting you know he was close. You made him look up at you. You saw how his eyes twinkled when he stared up at you. That look encouraged you to start kissing him passionately as the orgasm hit you both. Hot strings of cum shot into you as your pussy clenched around his cock. Both your moans were being muffled by the kiss luckily.

He held you in his arms for a while as your both caught your breath. You got off his lap and immediately collapsed onto your bed. Rain quickly came to your side and brought you in close. He had your head resting on his chest, allowing you to listen to his heartbeat. His heart was beating for you.  

What a romantic evening.  

Reiko

Going after a man who only knows war? You’re just brave at this point.

This has to be easy, right? Not many ladies are brave enough to ask out any Outworld soldier, let alone the lieutenant himself. The girls who were brave enough to ask Reiko out were either turned down or he didn’t understand what they were doing. The fact is there are no other ladies trying to go after your man. They see it as a losing game while you see it as a challenge.

You spotted him out on the training grounds with other soldiers. You ran nearby and watching from a distance as he took down his fellow soldiers. Once Reiko noticed that you were there you waved him over. He told everyone to take a quick break as he walked over to you. Once he was right in front of you he questioned why you were around and why you seemed to be waiting for him. You told him you had a question for him.

“So…uh…do you like sleeping?” you said with some confidence.

“…yes? Sleep is important to a man like me.”

“Wow, me too…we should try it sometimes.” You finished with less confidence.

“You don’t want to sleep with me.”

“Oh…” You were quiet for a bit before deciding to walk off.

His skull is too thick I fear.

Reiko stared at you before turning around. His soldiers looked at him like he was crazy. He asked them what they were looking at. They started yelling at him that he fumbled so hard. They asked if he really didn’t want to have sex with a pretty lady like you. They said Reiko was so lucky to be flirted with by you.

“Sex? She didn’t ask to have sex with me. She asked to sleep with me.” He replied.

“It’s the same thing!” They yelled back in unison.

“That’s just stupid! If she just said sex I would have said yes!” Too late, idiot!

Reiko was upset by everyone and everything. He decided to visit you once he was done training with the other soldiers. He found your home and like the weird brute he is, he climbed up to your window. You heard tapping at your window as you were getting ready for bed. You were surprised to see Reiko at your windowsill. You opened the window immediately to let him in.

“Is it really that difficult to ask for sex?” For a man like him, probably not.

You don’t need to do much to get Reiko started, your nightgown was doing the work for you.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

Oo look how strong Reiko is. Holding you up as he fucks you against the wall, show off.

He needed to show you how much of a man he was. He’s an idiot, not a heathen who doesn’t need sex. Everyone needs a little bit of fun.

His lips were attacking your lips in a rough kiss as his body pinned your body against your bedroom wall. He held onto your legs and kept them wide open as he thrusted into you. His thrusts were angled a little to allow him to rub against your clit. When it comes to sex, Reiko gives it his all. He never wants to lack. So he’s gonna make sure this will be a night you remember.

You sure will remember. Your pussy will definitely remember and crave his cock again. You will remember how its curved shape was a glorious feeling. Combined with his thick size you won’t be needing any other man. He stretched you out that the pain was pleasurable.

Reiko is a rough lover in general so his thrusts were just as rough. All you can hear is the sound of skin slapping, wet sounds, and heavy breathing. You felt his teeth lightly biting down on your lower lip. He didn’t want to ruin your perfect lip so he moved down to your neck. His teeth sank into your soft skin, littering it with marks. Bite marks were appearing all over your neck and shoulders. Each time he marked you his tongue would run over the mark he just made.

“You’re going to look so pretty when I’m done with you. Can’t wait to see everyone’s reactions when they see that you’re my lady now.” He is such a cocky bastard.

You were loopy but were on cloud nine. The pain and pleasure were a devious combination. It’s a high. A high you could only get from Reiko. He is your drug that leaves evidence of his effects on you.

Highs have to end eventually. You started panting fast as you got closer to cumming. Reiko watched your face as he went faster. Your head went back against the wall while your eyes began to shut tight. Your lovely moans came flowing out of your mouth and into Reiko’s ears. He thought the only noise he ever liked was the sound of his enemies dying. But it seems like you’ve proven him wrong.

Your body went somewhat limp but he still held you up. He’s not done yet. He was still pounding away, feeling how your pussy grew wetting to the point it was dripping. He made you stare up at him as he kept fucking you. He wanted to watch you lose yourself more from this. The sight of your eyes growing wet from being overstimulated was delicious to him. It was enough to send him over the edge. You saw the satisfied smile on his face as his cum filled up your pussy. He was trying to shove it as deep as he could like he was trying to mark you even more.

He held you in his arms as he pulled out. His cum was dripping out of you and onto the floor. Whatever, you guys can clean it up in the morning. You both need rest after that rough session. He placed you lightly on the bed before getting in himself. He laid on his back with one arm behind his head and the other wrapped around your body. Reiko was a satisfied man. What would make him even more satisfied was if you asked to be his girlfriend. You need to be blunt when you ask that one.

Give this man a cigarette he is giving off that energy.

Yap notes: WOO DOGGY THAT WAS A LOT. Had to put my mind into it. Thank you for letting me pick I’m glad to do more of my favorite/ underrated men! It was enjoyable to write. Now I need a nap. Adiós!

[eveshsrramblings]

Hello. I just fought Sunday for what is hopefully the last time but I don’t think I’ll ever be fully convinced I’m not dreaming ever again. Here are my thoughts:

I can’t believe we hit him with the train

The music was actually insane. What the hell

Following the music thing, I preferred the religious vibe we had going over Robin’s pop track but Sunday was literally so upset about Robin showing up to help whoop his ass that I didn’t even mind

The camera work with Sunday asking for the last time “why does life slumber?” And the quick zoom and shock on Sunday’s face when the Trailblazer has an answer was really good. I liked that. I think I might like Sunday suffering lmao

We hit Sunday with a train

The Acheron flashback at the beginning of the fight was so long but the reveal that the old guy was a trailblazer was crazy. Like wdym that’s oomf

Having Robin dive after Sunday post-fight was actually diabolical work

Forcing me to watch a flashback about Sunday and Robin’s childhood promise immediately afterwards? Somehow even more diabolical. If they’d actually shown them as kids I may have lost it.

Idk who this guy is that Boothill is looking for but it’s so funny to me that Boothill has pulled a gun on every single character he’s met so far. You go diva.

We hit Sunday with the train.

[xxsabitoxx]

My Personal Upper Moon 🍆 Ranking

Warnings: if it isn’t obvious already, this post is taking about the Upper Moon’s and my personal HC on their dick sizes. If that makes you uncomfortable in any way, just keep scrolling

A/N: I was actually very surprised by the amount of comments on my Hashira version of this HC post. So I feel a little more comfortable with giving the Upper Moons a go, especially since someone asked if I would do it eheheh. That being said, these men are demons, therefore you may find my size rankings to be a bit unrealistic. But I’m not gonna go crazy and say Muzan has a dick that’s 2 miles long.

This post includes: Muzan, Kokushibo, Douma, Akaza, Hantengu’s clones (Karaku, Urogi, Sekido and Aizetsu), Gyutaro and Kaigaku. And no Gyokko cause that man doesn’t have a dick, period.

In a category of his own: Muzan Kibutsuji

Muzan clearly deserves a category of his own for one particular reason: he’s able to alter his appearance.

Therefore, he’s able to change the size of his dick whenever the fuck he feels like it.

And don’t try and say that stupid cause he can literally change gender and age so changing his dick size isn’t out of the question

On average, Muzan prefers to have a larger dick, mostly because he’s a pussy ass bitch man that needs that kind of confidence down there, if you get what I mean.

Typically soft: 10.5

Typically hard: 11.7

But he can make it as big, small, curved, wide, as he wants

When he wants to torture your ass, he’ll make himself as girthy as he sees fit just to watch you cry and squirm and beg for something a little smaller.

Anytime you get “comfortable” he just increases his girth until you’re crying again. Your pleasure is never his first priority, it’s always his.

1. Kokushibo

Among the demons, it should be no shock that Upper Moon One has always been packing. This man is petrifying so it’s only right that his dick is equally as intimidating as him

Even as a human, this man’s dick was deadly. You can’t change my mind either.

Just in case you’re wondering, Yoriichi is bigger

That’s beside the point, Kokushibo has a lot to work with down there. Whether it’s hard or soft ngl

When soft: 9.5

When hard: 10.7

He’s long, girthy and curves slightly upwards. He’s heavy too, your jaw will certainly hurt by the time you’re done with him.

He’s the type to put a pillow or blanket of some sort under your lower back as he fucks you. Mostly because he’s not clueless to the fact that his dick is big

Kokushibo is the type to ease you into it though, he’s stern but he has a teeny bit of empathy when it comes to fucking you. Unless you’ve pissed him off ofc.

2. Akaza

I know this one is gonna be controversial, especially since I’m putting him above Douma but hear me out.

This man has audacity, which means he got a big dick. No demon is acting like Akaza and having a small dick to go with it. Nuh uh, no sir.

Akaza is sitting pretty knowing damn well his cock is bigger than Douma’s and it actually something Douma taunts him with… which you think the roles would be reversed but hey…

When soft: 8.5

When hard: 9.7

He’s straight, no real curve to him and he has a single blue line going up the underside of his shaft and one that wraps around just before the head of his dick. Like as in the lines that cover his body lol

Akaza is probably the “gentlest” of all the upper moons because of the respect he has for women

That’s not to say he isn’t rough with you, but he definitely cares about your pleasure and feelings more than Douma or Muzan would for example

He’s pretty confident in himself though, at least that’s how it seems to you. He knows what he’s doing to say the least

3. Douma

Alright listen, this man is still packing down there so don’t get mad at me for putting him at third.

His dick is smaller than Akaza’s but not by a ton. Let’s be honest Douma is probably the straightest and gayest demon to ever exist. The embodiment of bisexual LMAO

How does Douma know Akaza’s dick is bigger? The world may never know

When soft: 8

When hard: 9.2

It’s pale like the rest of him, a pretty noticeable curve to it as well. He has some prominent veins because of how pale he is. His tip is like a pinkish gray (idk why I felt the need to include this)

He’s pretty girthy too, so he definitely will make your walls stretch uncomfortably if he doesn’t offer you foreplay

Douma is rough, selfish and truly only cares about his own pleasure but he likes watching you whine and squirm while being impaled on his cock

Douma also has a thing for “belly bulges” so he will fuck you in some odd positions if he means he can see his dick from the outside… if ya know what I mean

4. Gyutaro

Listen, plz just listen cause I promise you I’m going somewhere with this. Cause I can already hear y’all being like ???Scrawny ass Gyutaro is in 4th??? Yes. He is.

Gyutaro got himself a bit of an upgrade when becoming a demon. He for sure does not look like he did a a human. By that I mean he’s taller than he was (even tho he’s hunched)

What I’m tryna get at is demon transformation made his dick bigger and Imma live in my little fantasy world

When soft: 6.5

When hard: 7.2

Gyutaro’s dick is as curved as his spine and as thick as his tiny ass waist. He’s got length but not crazy girth.

Even if he’s rough, it feels good. Like there isn’t a ton of discomfort if he goes in raw with no prep cause he wants to punish you, he’s like the perfect amount of stretch

He’s mean, verbally and physically but at the same time he’s a fucking sucker for your body so he can’t really say much without whining and groaning

He’s got some confidence in his cock but he’s also a bit envious of the other upper moons

5. The Hantengu Clones (Sekido, Karaku, Aizetsu, Urogi)

I’ve talked about my dick HCs for these four in my A-Z NSFW alphabet and I was tryna be realistic. However, when it comes to this post, fuck being realistic.

Sekido when soft 6.2 | when hard 7.1

Karaku when soft 6 | when hard 6.9

Urogi when soft 5.9 | when hard 6.7

Aizetsu when soft 5.7 | when hard 6.5

There is so much to say here but honestly my brain is malfunctioning so I can’t even delve into it

Regardless, the four of these demons fuck very differently and use their dicks very differently

Sekido and Urogi have no curve, Karaku has a slight curve and Aizetsu’s curves upwards

Hantengu himself had a 3 inch dick and you can’t tell me otherwise. Pussy ass bitch

6. Kaigaku

I hate this little bitch but I’m including him so I can rag on his fugly ass. Kaigaku simps I’m sorry but I can’t stand him

This douche has the smallest dick among the upper moons. This is full Kaigaku slander.

When soft: 5.2

When hard: 6

I’ll give him a decent dick tho cause boy does he have the fucking audacity

That’s all I’m gonna give y’all cause I ain’t wasting my time on him GOOD BYE I didn’t even tag is ass

[awniie]

⭑FINGERPAINT W/ SATORU GOJO⭑

꒰ summary: basically just on satoru's lap

ㅤ⭑ content: fluff, suggestive.. fem!reader, physical touch, he bites you (lmao)

⭑ notes: this was actually the most random thing I found in my drafts..but its proofread!

You were laying against your boyfriend’s satoru chest, your body on top of his and his hands on your lower back as you sat there, just watching him. You must’ve been there long because he had gotten bored and started to doze off not long after your arrival on his lap. So you were left there as a pillow of some sorts, That didn’t bother you though, in fact you took the time to do some deep inspection of your boyfriend. Your eyes taking in everything on his face, surprised and slightly envious at the lack of really any blemishes. You frown a little at his perfect complexion and place a singular finger on his cheek, running over the supple skin. His eyes were still closed as you dragged your finger over his face. You traced down the tip of his nose, the sharp lines of his jaw and the crook of his neck. Your wandering finger traveled the path of his clavicle, and you lean in to place a featherlight kiss on it.

He slept so peacefully, and you couldn’t help but think how pretty he looks like this. You lean in a little closer, feeling his warm breath on his skin. Now that you were this close, you could see the way his white eyelashes fluttered against his cheek. You brought your finger back up to his face, drawing an invisible heart right under that spot. You place a little kiss there as well, smiling to yourself as he was still deep in his slumber. “You’re so perfect like this, toru…” you cooed, to yourself really.

You repeated this process, but on his mouth this time. The flesh there pink and perfectly plump. You thought he looked so perfect there under your straddled legs, all beautiful and quiet for once. “why can’t you be like this all the time, instead of being so loud.” You asked, again no response. You must’ve seemed crazy, talking to yourself. If you were talking to yourself. What you didn’t know was that he wasn’t sleeping, he’d been awake the whole time, seeing what you’d do. He should’ve kept pretending, saving you from your pride and an awkward moment. He would’ve too…if he were any better person.

As soon as you ran your unsuspecting finger across his lips, tracing another heart across the pink surface, he took his chance. He nipped your finger, not enough to draw blood, but definitely enough to make you yelp. “Satoru?!” You pulled your finger back, inspecting the wound. He couldn’t help but let out a snicker. Your shock was just so cute. “M’ sorry baby, it was an accident.” He said, faking a sleepy-mottled voice. Yet, letting out another laugh as if he couldn’t even try and hide his giddy. You clearly didn’t find this as funny as he did, being caught by surprise and also bit.

He looked at your face, and must’ve felt a little guilt apparently. His smile was halfway gone and that hand that rested on your hip slipped inside of your shirt. You shivered as his fingers were curled and rubbing up and under your bra strap and down the length of your back.

“is this better?” He asked you, warm hands continuing the movement up and down your back. You nod, eyes fluttering shut as he his fingers continued grazing your back. You laid your cheek on his chest. “Still need an apology ‘Toru…” you reminded him pointedly. He rolls his eyes and grumbles, giving your back a sharp pinch. You helped again and he smiled “Gojo.”

He lets out a ‘tsk’, that shit-eating grin still on his face. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry…”

“Sorry for what….?”

He grumbles, tempted to throw you off of him. “I’m sorry for biting you….,” he started “Even though, your finger was on my mouth. My first instinct was to bite it.” Your boyfriend quickly adds in his defense.

“Your first instinct is to bite anything that’s near your mouth…?” You question, your head now lifted from his chest and giving him a skeptical look.

“Well duh. Unless of course. when it comes to your clit. “You always like when I lick that better." He riposted, and there was that complacent smile along with it.

“Y’know, if you weren’t scratching my back right now. I would’ve kicked you out of the house by now.”

“Funny, cus I could’ve sworn you said that exact same thing when I was between your legs yester-”

That was the final straw. “out.” you ordered as your pointed towards the door.

Your boyfriend saturo quickly reiterated himself before you could do any further damage. “Okay for real baby m’ sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you or bite you.” He shut himself up at that part before he could mention that everything he said was true and you were just to shy to hear your own words. His voice was softer and more genuine now. “Can you forgive me, please?” He asked, continuing with the strokes on your back.

You grumble, and after a moment of silence, you cave in. “If you just shut up n’ look pretty while rubbing my back, then I’ll think about forgiveness.” You lie. He was already was forgiven, since you were never truly mad in the first place. But hey, what he didn’t know doesn’t hurt him. He didn’t seem to affected by it either, he happily obliged to having you on his lap to the rest of the day.

[jungkoode]

OFF-LABELS | O2

→ PAIRING : Med Student!Hoseok x F!Reader (Brother’s Best Friend AU)

→ RATING: Mature, 18+, suggestive tones.

→ DATE POSTED: February 6th, 2025.

→ NARRATED AUDIO:

→ SUMMARY: You’ve spent four years convincing yourself that your brother’s best friend is just being nice when he remembers your coffee order, quizzes you on neuroanatomy, or lets his touch linger a second too long. Because there’s no way that the golden boy of Seoul National’s medical program might actually be flirting with you. Especially when he keeps saying things that could be perfectly innocent… if only he didn’t say them in that voice.

→ TAGS: second person perspective, female reader, medical school au, brother’s best friend trope, age gap (4 years), pining, touch starved, overthinking reader, confident hoseok, gentle dom hoseok, medical terminology as flirting (lmao), study sessions, domestic moments, innocent (but not really), plausible deniability king hoseok, anxiety, internal monologue, guilty crushes, subtle teasing, emotional edging, gentle manipulation, praise kink undertones, intellectual attraction, competency kink, hand fixation, voice kink, medical intern hoseok, first year med student reader, home setting, casual intimacy, unresolved sexual tension (for now), secret attraction, nervous rambling, self-doubt, intrusive thoughts, anatomy lessons with ulterior motives, competent hoseok, flustered reader, close proximity, accidental touches that aren’t accidents,

→ CONTENT in this chapter: slight lowkey masturbation (f), doing things under blankets, hoseok pretending nothing's happening, caleb being next to them, y/n thinking she's going crazy

→ MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQ | WORDCOUNT: 2.2k

→ MINI SERIES: PREVIOUS | NEXT

You didn't know movies could be this uninteresting.

It's not that Thor movies are bad—quite the opposite. You've seen them before, enjoyed them. The colors are vibrant, the dialogue sharp, and Chris Hemsworth's arms are... well. But right now, you couldn't focus on Norse gods if your life depended on it.

Not when Hoseok is sitting so close.

The couch feels smaller than it should.

It’s a perfectly normal-sized couch—three cushions, plenty of space—but right now, it feels like a cruel joke. 

You’re perched at the far edge, knees tucked to your chest, trying to make yourself as compact as possible. Caleb, on the other side, is sprawled like a starfish, one arm draped over the backrest, his legs taking up more than their fair share of room. And Hoseok—Hoseok is in the middle, which shouldn’t be a problem except for the way Caleb keeps shifting, nudging him closer to you.

Too close.

You can sense every inch of him near you: the way his thigh presses into the cushion just shy of yours, the faint scent of his cologne mingling with the buttery smell of popcorn, the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathes. Even when he’s completely still, he’s present—pulling your attention. Even when you are trying to focus on a movie.

And then Caleb props his feet on the coffee table.

“Dude,” Hoseok says, swatting at him lightly. “Shoes off.”

Caleb grumbles something unintelligible but complies, kicking off his sneakers with a dramatic sigh. Hoseok shakes his head, amused, and leans back—but in doing so, he spreads his legs wider, settling into that infuriatingly casual sprawl that guys do without even thinking about it.

Your eyes dart to the ceiling. The popcorn bowl. The TV screen. Anywhere but there.

You swallow hard, your throat clicking audibly in the quiet between scenes. His knee brushes yours—just barely—and you jerk like you’ve been shocked.

Hoseok glances at you, head tilting slightly in that gentle, curious way he has. “You okay?”

“I’m cold,” you blurt out before your brain can catch up with your mouth. 

It’s not even remotely true; if anything, your skin feels hot and prickly under your oversized hoodie. But it’s better than admitting the real reason you’re acting like a skittish animal caught in headlights.

His lips curve into a soft smile—kind and unassuming—and he reaches under the couch without hesitation, pulling out a neatly folded blanket from the hidden storage compartment Caleb always forgets exists. 

“Here,” he says, holding it out to you. “Mind sharing?”

You nod quickly—too quickly—and take one corner of the blanket as he drapes it over both your laps. The fabric is warm and soft against your skin, smelling faintly of detergent and something else you can’t place but immediately associate with him. You clutch your side of it tightly, keeping as much distance as possible between your leg and his under the shared cover.

“Hey,” Caleb pipes up from across the couch, waving a hand lazily in Hoseok’s direction. “Toss me one too.”

Hoseok obliges without complaint, retrieving another blanket and tossing it over Caleb’s head with a quiet laugh when he fumbles to catch it. 

The movie becomes background noise. 

All you can focus on is Hoseok's breathing beside you—steady, measured, perfect. Even that he does flawlessly, like his body naturally knows the exact rhythm it should maintain. You wonder if his heartbeat is just as precise. Probably. Everything about him seems calibrated for perfection, from his gentle smiles to the way he always knows exactly what to say.

He's just... good. At everything. At being kind and thoughtful and making people feel at ease. At existing in a way that doesn't seem to require the constant internal screaming that accompanies your every movement.

"You want it?"

His voice startles you out of your spiral. Heat floods your cheeks as your brain short-circuits, because want—want what? What is he offering? Why does his voice sound like that? Like warm honey and—

"Popcorn," he murmurs, smile gentle as he offers you the bowl.

Oh.

Oh.

Of course popcorn. Because he's being nice. Because that's what he does. Because you're the one reading into things that aren't there, imagining subtext in simple questions, making everything weird because your brain refuses to function normally around him.

"Thanks," you manage, reaching for the bowl without looking at him.

Your fingers brush his. The contact lasts approximately 0.3 seconds, but it's enough to make your skin tingle.

He doesn’t seem to notice—or if he does, he doesn’t let on—and turns back to the screen like nothing happened.

But for you?

The movie might as well not exist anymore.

And the couch still feels like a trap.

You try to focus back on the movie—really, you do. You like Marvel. You like the ridiculousness of it all, the bright colors and loud music and Tom Hiddleston being… well, Loki. But right now, it’s like no part of you can bring itself to care about gods or hammers or screaming goats. 

Not when Hoseok is sitting this close. Not when his thigh is pressed against yours like it belongs there.

It’s not even that he’s doing anything wrong. Caleb’s the one who forced him into the middle seat, after all. Caleb’s the one who sprawled out like he owns the place, leaving you no choice but to curl up on your side of the couch and pretend you’re not hyper-aware of every single point of contact between you and Hoseok.

His knee is glued to yours now. Warm. Solid. Unmoving.

You try to shift away—just a little, just enough to give yourself some breathing room—but there’s nowhere to go without falling off the edge entirely. And even if there were, moving would draw attention. Caleb would say something stupid, and Hoseok would laugh, and you’d have to sit here and die while they teased you for being weird about a perfectly normal seating arrangement.

So you stay still. Or as still as you can manage with your heart racing and your skin tingling and your brain screaming at you to stop thinking about it.

It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just proximity. He probably doesn’t even notice.

Except… his thigh shifts against yours again.

You freeze, breath catching in your throat as his knee presses a little closer, his weight shifting ever so slightly toward you under the blanket. It’s subtle—so subtle you almost convince yourself it’s nothing—but then his hand brushes your leg.

Your inner thigh.

Under the blanket.

It’s quick—barely a graze—but it sends a jolt through you like static electricity, sharp and hot and impossible to ignore. You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, half-expecting him to pull back, to apologize for invading your space. But he doesn’t even flinch. His gaze is fixed on the screen, his expression calm and unbothered, like he hasn’t just set every nerve in your body on fire.

It was an accident. It has to be an accident.

But then his hand shifts again.

Slowly.

Deliberately?

No. No, not deliberately. You’re imagining things. Overthinking things. He’s just adjusting his position—his hand sliding higher because there’s nowhere else for it to go, because Caleb is taking up too much room, because—

His fingers brush against your inner thigh again, firmer this time, lingering just long enough to make your stomach wince.

You almost whimper.

Almost.

Instead, you sink deeper into the couch cushions, pulling the blanket higher over your lap in a feeble attempt to shield yourself from… what? Him? Yourself? The way your body is reacting to something so small, so innocent?

He doesn’t notice. Of course he doesn’t notice. He’s smiling at the screen now—a soft curve of his lips that makes something in your chest ache—and you tell yourself it’s because of the movie. Because he finds something funny or charming or whatever normal people feel when they’re watching Norse gods fight shadow monsters.

Not because he knows what he’s doing to you.

Not because he’s enjoying it.

Your breathing quickens despite yourself, shallow and uneven as his hand ventures higher under the fabric. He shifts slightly, adjusting his position, and his pinky catches the hem of your shorts. 

Your stomach drops as his fingertips slip underneath, skimming along the edge where elastic meets skin. 

Testing. Exploring. 

You bite your lip hard enough to sting, trying to keep your breathing steady as his touch wanders higher. His thumb finds the lace trim of your panties—delicate, intricate—and follows it with thorough slowness. Like he's appreciating the texture. Like he's curious about what else he might discover.

There’s no way this is happening. No way his fingers are tracing the edge of your underwear right now, skimming along the waistband like it’s nothing at all. Like it’s casual. Like he’s not doing it and you’re hallucinating.

You clutch the blanket tighter against your chest, trying to hide the heat blooming across your face as his touch lingers—light and exploratory and devastatingly precise in its methodology.

Methodology?

No. No, not methodology. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He can’t know what he’s doing.

But his hand dips lower, so slowly you could almost convince yourself you’re imagining it. Almost. Until his fingers brush against you through the thin fabric, and you have to stifle a gasp at how wet you already are. How embarrassingly obvious your arousal must be against his exploring touch.

His thumb presses more firmly, sliding through the dampness with deliberate intent. Testing. Measuring your response as he traces your slit with methodical patience. Like he’s conducting research. Like this is just another careful examination.

The fabric is soaked. 

You know it. He knows it. 

There's no way he doesn't know it, not with the way his thumb presses experimentally against you through the damp material. Not with how easily it glides over you, gathering wetness that shouldn't be there, that you shouldn't be producing for him, that you definitely shouldn't be letting him discover while your brother sits three feet away.

He hums softly—contentedly—and for one horrifying moment, you think it’s because of you. Because of this quiet little game he’s playing under the blanket where no one can see except you.

But then Caleb laughs—loud and obnoxious—and Hoseok responds with an easy “You’re such a nerd for FX,” his voice warm and teasing like nothing at all is happening between his hand and your body right now.

“Bro,” Caleb says through another cackle, gesturing wildly at the screen with a handful of popcorn. “LOOK at the fuckin’ rain! It’s insane!”

“Mm,” Hoseok murmurs in agreement, his thumb sliding lower now—closer to where you’re slick and ready in ways you shouldn’t be for him right now. “Drenched.”

Your lungs forget how to work entirely as his thumb presses more firmly now—slow, almost absentminded up and down movements like he’s trying to memorize the texture of you under the material. 

It must be your imagination.

Because the alternative is… That's—that's ridiculous. 

He wouldn't.

Not Hoseok. Not sweet, thoughtful Hoseok who makes you tea during study sessions and remembers how you like your ramyeon. Not your brother's best friend who's sitting right here, watching Thor with perfect attention, commenting on special effects like his hand isn't currently—

He hums again—a low sound that vibrates through him—and presses a little harder against your slit like he’s testing something out, like he’s curious about what kind of reaction he can pull from you without anyone noticing.

You bite down on your lip hard enough to taste copper, desperate to keep quiet. No one notices—not Caleb with his ugly laugh or Thor with his hammer or anyone else in this stupid movie that might as well not exist anymore because all you can think about is him.

His hand on you.

His thumb dampening against fabric that shouldn’t be this wet for him—for anyone—but especially not for him.

His hand shifts higher.  

You stop breathing.  

For one excruciating moment, his thumb brushes the swollen nub of your clit through soaked fabric, and you—  

“Yo, pass the M&Ms.”  

Hoseok withdraws his hand so smoothly it’s like it never happened, reaching for the candy bowl with his damp thumb glinting in the TV’s blue light.

 “Chill,” he says, tossing the packet at Caleb’s head. “You’re missing the good part.”  

You’re frozen.  

You yank the blanket higher, covering your face. You press your thighs together, desperate to relieve the ache he's left behind, as he reaches for the candy.

And then—

Hoseok brings his thumb to his mouth.

Licks it.

Casual. Absentminded. Still watching the movie.

Your stomach plummets.

You're not crazy.

You can't be crazy.

But if you say something—if you react, if you acknowledge it—

Then it's real.

And you can't let it be real.

“Sweet,” he comments idly, eyes never leaving the battle.  

Caleb snorts. “Duh. They’re candy.”

The ache between your thighs remains sharp and insistent. Hoseok’s knee brushes yours again—innocent, always innocent—and you realize with dawning horror that his breathing hasn’t changed at all. Steady. Calm. Like he didn’t just—  

You’re imagining things.

The credits roll.  

“Bed,” Caleb announces, stretching until his joints pop. “You crashing here, Hoseok?”  

He shrugs, gathering blankets with those same steady hands. “If that’s cool.”  

No.

“Sure,” you whisper.  

His smile could power cities.

→ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @cannotalwaysbenight @livingformintyoongi @itstoastsworld @somehowukook @chloepiccoliniii @just-reading-dany @stuti2904

© 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓.

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[11queensupreme11]

Chat, I just thought of something what if the side piece got PREGNANT! It may not be possible but just imagine in the world of the impossible..

Imagine:

Cu: Percy I’m sorry! Please I love you! She’s just a side piece-

Side piece: in pregnant

Cu:..you son of a-

Percy: you say what?

Side piece: you heard me, now that I’m pregnant with his child he’s gonna replace me with your fake ass

Percy:..🤨 (Percy whose been through hundreds of pregnancies of Cu’s children)

Percy:..you-…

Cu:….

Percy: oh hell no, that’s all you my friend

Cu: what!?

Percy: that is all you! You take care of her and the child & I’ll take care of my OWN children (including Kebe and her step children because they are her children no matter if they’re adopted)

Side piece: finally you will actually leave Cu alone with the woman he ACTUALLY loves

Cu: Percy don’t do this to me

Side piece: oh honey bunny you can stop pretending, that whore will finally leave us alone! Just imagine it you’ll be taking care of me for NINE months,NONSTOP, and we’ll be together!

Cu:...

Percy: you’re so gonna regret choosing him as your baby daddy

Side piece: why? you jealous filthy harlot?

Percy: jealous of you? Nope I’m relieved I’m not you. Now since you’ll be busy Cu I’m leaving to go hang out with my other hubbies and my children peace out

Side piece: finally she left, we’re gonna have so much fun! Right Cu?..

Side piece: cu?

(Cu who already left for the milk a.k.a Percy)

Oh god! How would the yanderes react to the side piece getting pregnant!? 😂😂😭😭

THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER HAEFAFVAJHBFSDJCHB

i love how we keep finding ways to ruin cú chulainn's life in this au, we're so evil LMAO 😂😂😂😂

HE KNOCKED UP THE MISTRESS???????????

this is so on-brand tho. he has so many kids that he never knew about so "leaving to get milk" is definitely what he'd do in this scenario 😭😭😭😭

but omggggg getting his mistress pregnant.... i know he's sweating buckets and silently freaking out over percy's reaction. and percy...... omg my poor baby, her heart's just breaking more and more 🥺💔💔💔💔 her husband not only cheated, but he got mistress pregnant too???? 😭💔

at this point, she is DEFINITELY leaving for midgard. she'll tell cú chulainn "congrats on the baby" and leave right then and there. (her kids are free to visit her down in midgard tho, she just asks them to try and blend in with the humans when they visit her.)

depending on cú chulainn's mental state by the time percy leaves, he might actually kill his mistress and the unborn baby. this man does not care 😭 he found the mistress pretty and fucked her, and that was all she ever was for him. if he's in a decent state, he might put his focus on trying to beg percy to come back, but with every failed attempt, more and more of his mind starts to crack, and he will kill the mistress and the unborn baby if he hasn't by then 💀💀

ok but seriously, i feel so bad for percy omgggg this is really horrible for her. her domains are literally FAMILY and LOYALTY, imagine your own husband trampling on your domains???? it's so hera-core, but percy's not crazy enough to target the woman and child, regardless of whether the woman's innocent or not. it's just not in her nature, plus she's HEARTBROKEN 😭💔💔💔

(the gods, despite knowing her pretty well, would actually be pretty shocked by her decision to NOT brutally torture the mistress and bastard baby. it's very on-brand for goddesses to do that, but she just... doesn't??? tbh, this would just make them feel even worse for her and hate cú chulainn even more because "bro, ur wife is a SAINT. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO HER?????")

the yans would not be entertained with the addition of a possible baby. knowing percy, they fear that she might actually welcome the baby with open arms and that is NOT what they want. it's already bad enough that she's splitting her attention between the other yans' kids, but taking care of a bastard baby that isn't hers? they see it as her demeaning herself!

buuuuuut thankfully, percy has no plans of welcoming the bastard baby to her family. cú chulainn can take care of his NEW family, she will focus on her own. (little does she know her crazy ass husband has already killed both the mistress and the unborn baby 💀)

[peachhcs]

hard launch hard launch hard launch!! i’m DYING to see the reactions

hard launch → social media post

gymnast duke!sister x james hagens au (james + hannah)

as requestedddd THE HARD LAUNCH of james and hannah on their instagrams and all of their friends are so shocked and surprised besides samy + will who saw it coming tehehe

au masterlist

hannahduke how does it go? i hate boston?

view all comments

samyhughes MY WIFEYYYY u look gorg omg

samyhughes GURL I LITERALLY KNEW IT WAS JAMES OMG

samyhughes insane lore drop after i tried getting it out of you yesterday

| hannahduke ur starting to look like gabe with his spam comments on will’s post LMAO

| hannahduke girlllll u were crazy for figuring that out

| samyhughes idk if me being compared to gabe should be an insult or what

| gabeperreault44 HEY rude

user1 AW OMG i had no idea they were dating???

user2 wow she’s gorg they’re all gorg

user3 wait last pic is so cutie they lowkey make so much sense together??!!

drewf2 IS THAT MY MAN J HAGENS?! WOAH when did this happen????

| hannahduke some months ago or something..

aram_minnetian wow this was not on my 2024 bingo card

| hannahduke LMAO aram please

jacob_fowler24 now wait a minute.. i glanced at the comments and got confused until i scrolled the last photo and saw james hagens r u guys dating 😭😭

| hannahduke are you admitting that you don’t scroll through the entire carousel??

| jacob_fowler24 no..

tyler___duke5 i’m floored when did this happen 😭

| hannahduke only a few weeks ago 🤭

teddystiga_ HAGGY??? ON MY FEED? ON YOUR ACCOUNT?

| hannahduke surprise!

user4 HAHA all the guys being so confused and surprised is so funny to me

user5 aw wait i love

_willvote why is everyone stealing the boston guys??

| hannahduke you tell me tbh 😭

nick_moldenhauer wow what a casual lore drop??

| hannahduke do u think it was causal enough?

dylanduke25 wait since when were u talking to hagens 😭😭😭

| hannahduke since like..awhile lowkey

| dylanduke25 why do i feel so out of the loop wtf

coleeiserman why am i finding out about this on instagram wtf??

| hannahduke sorry cole 😭

_willsmith2 i KNEW it i KNEW it

| hannahduke why did u and samy just know it huh 😭

| samyhughes bc we're detectives

ryan.leno_4 HAGENS is that you???

| jameshagens_4 it is me yes

gabeperreault44 i can't believe hags cuffed you up omg

| hannahduke yeah crazy i didn't think he could either

michaelhagens_11 i didn't even know this wow

| hannahduke we're full of surprises u know

user6 i actually love them together aww

user7 they seem so cutie aw

tj_hughes13 damn hags got mad rizz

| jameshagens_4 😸😸

markestapa she’s all grown up now

| hannahduke u and ethan can finally stop bugging me

edwards.73 the younger these generations get the more old i feel bc who is james hagens

| hannahduke LMAO ETHAN PLS

farahlipetz sooo cute han!!! i love u

| hannahduke i love u far!!!

julianne_gelinas UR SO INSANE FOR THIS HANNAH OMG WOWOW

| hannahduke LMAO SURPRISE!!!!!

emmagcooper ur adorable i love u hannah

| hannahduke i love u em!

danielle_minnetian HANNAH AWWWWW U AND HAGS SO CUTE

| hannahduke 🥰🥰

samantha_minnetian so adorable aww

| hannahduke 😘😘

zeevbuium28 wildddd pairing but u guys are cute so

| hannahduke thanks? i guess?

jameshagens_4 who’s the cutie in the last pic??

| hannahduke huh i don’t know

jameshagens_4 some good things 🤍

view all comments

teddystiga_ wow no hesitation or anything

teddystiga_ glad to be featured tho

| jameshagens_4 ofc stiggy i’d always feature u

coleeiserman is that..THE hannah duke?? wait is she who you’ve been soft launching the whole time??

| jameshagens_4 maybe..

user1 HANNAH DUKE ITS CONFIRMED EVERYONE

user2 AWW she looks adorable in that pic

user3 hannah duke and james hagens was not on my bingo card BUT i’m not mad about it??

aram_minnetian now i gotta watch out for u making sappy posts now too 😔😔

| jameshagens_4 better get used to it

drewf2 HARD LAUNCH AFFF WOAH HANNAH DUKE??

| jameshagens_4 the one and only 😌

_willvote very good things

| jameshagens_4 mmhmm

jacob_fowler24 u guys posting just an hour after one another is not slick at all

| jameshagens_4 oopsies

michaelhagens_11 why do i find this out from instagram and why are you not answering my texts

| jameshagens_4 sorry mike😔

user4 i hope he knows he’s dating a 2x olympic gold medalist rn and he better not lose that

user5 what an attractive looking couple aw

dylanduke25 so thissss is the boyfriend 🤨

| jameshagens_4 hey

tyler___duke5 i should’ve send this coming

| jameshagens_4 🤠

tj_hughes13 fresh man

| jameshagens_4 thanks tj

gabeperreault44 MY SHAYLAAAA

| samyhughes GABE wtf😭

| hannahduke PEAK brainrot

ryan.leno_4 since when have you been rizzing up hannah???

| jameshagens_4 since like..maybe two years ago?

| gabeperreault44 TWO YEARS AGO?!

| _willsmith2 now that’s crazy actually

_willsmith2 welcome to the clubbb 😎

| jameshagens_4 does this mean we’re gonna go on double dates now?

| samyhughes yes absolutely

| mackcelebrini make that a triple date!

rutgermcgroarty this is such insane lore to wake up to 😭

| jameshagens_4 sorry rut

zeevbuium28 u know what? i’m impressed u stuck it through for two years

| jameshagens_4 finally bagged that fine shyte i’ve been plotting

| samyhughes WHO is teaching you these tiktok brainrots??

samyhughes this is actually really cute j aw

| jameshagens_4 thanks samy!

user6 PLEASE these comments are hilarious

trevorconnelly16 uh oh he’s gone soft on us

| jameshagens_4 ☺️

brandonsvoboda_ we welcome u to the taken club with open arms

| jameshagens_4 i appreciate that 🥰

nick_moldenhauer michigan x boston crossover

| jameshagens_4 had to run it back

markestapa doing my causal invading the bf comment

| jameshagens_4 hey mark!

edwards.73 unfortunately i didn’t know who u were until now but don’t worry now i do!

| jameshagens_4 LMAO no hard feelings ethan

hannahduke wait..who’s that #10..

| jameshagens_4 hmm u better come find out

[ct-multifandom]

S6 ep speculation

Get ready to hear my 80% wrong predictions even though I’m like, super not caught up on this show! It’s still fun to guess. Also this post will be generally leak-free so don’t go replying to it with “uhhh actually from the leaks we know this and that”. Not the place. Warning, this post is incredibly long.

1) Climatiqueen

I lean into the microphone and say, “Aurore”. The crowd erupts into cheers and fervent applause. Everyone shouts and whistles and pumps their arms in the air.

Interesting that they went with the French name for both translations, and she clearly seems to be a powered up version of stormy weather. It’s so fitting to circle around and start this new arc and new butterfly user off with the OG… I just hope we’ll get to learn a little about her character this time (doubtful). She’s gone to the main cast’s school this whole time and was Marc and Zoe’s classmate. It’d be great if they made her an actual recurring character instead of a special NPC. The children yearn for a character who acts like a cunty Mean Girl but isn’t actually a bad person.

I’m guessing this episode will serve as a general intro to the new world, showing us a typical day in the life of LB & CN kind of like the original pilot without dropping any important main plot developments.

2) Dessinatriste/The Illustrhater

Why is nobody talking about how funny the English name is, that’s hilarious. The haterrr. I’m getting very different vibes from both translations emotions-wise. The English title makes it sound like they’re petty or angry rather than sad.

My first thought was Nath because the name follows similar conventions as Dessinateur/Evillustrator in both languages and as one of the earliest and most iconic akumas it might continue this idea of Lila following in Gabriel’s footsteps while first learning how to butterfly.

In early s1, Gabriel was still experimenting with his powers while figuring out what does and doesn’t work when making an akuma. Well actually, since it was Gabriel, he learned absolutely nothing and was shocked when making the same mistakes over and over didn’t give him different results.

I think putting Lila through that same test drive phase would show her being much more analytical and actually develop her skills based on what she learns. In s1, Gabriel had a hard time making The Evillustrator do what he wanted, going so far as to like bloodbend him, then never targeted him again. If Lila was in that situation, she might figure out how to be more persuasive/manipulative/motivational or just learn that she has to choose akumas who will align with her goals in the first place.

Nath is also majorly due for character development. And he might be a pro level hater. It’s odd and a shame that we’ve only seen him once while every other class character has been akumatized like a hundred times atp. I think it’s most likely him.

I’ve seen people bring up that the French name sounds like a pun on the feminine form of the word. While Nath might be a diva, my counter argument is that this might be referring to Kagami, who is also interested in illustration and a girl. <- LMAO [insert Kagaminette joke], I mean “and is a girl”.

We haven’t heard much about her artistic journey in a long time even though it was important enough to mention in that trading card game where they said she secretly wants to make her own manga but lacks the confidence to start even though she has it planned out (super paraphrased).

Since Tomoe will become a greater villain, this could be the opportunity to show it since she’s the reason Kagami is self-conscious about her art. Maybe Tomoe will provoke Kagami into getting akumatized on purpose to test out Lila’s abilities or use her somehow. I’m not sure what her motivations are. Kagami does have, what, four different akuma forms already not counting powered-up ones? Crazy evolution tree, why not add more.

This might be an episode where Kagami becomes more comfortable pursuing what she wants and finding support among Marinette and friends instead of looking for Tomoe’s validation, continuing the plot line from Perfection. Once again, I don’t think it’s likely to be her tho.

3) Sublimation

I’ve seen the leaks and I believe everything I’ve seen has been from this episode. I feel comfortable saying this since it was already released in the official trailer, but the villain here is the coach woman. This episode seems to mostly be focused on this new runner girl character. I won’t elaborate because I don’t think any of the other stuff I know about this ep was in official material, but yeah, very much a new character situation.

You’d think this episode would have something to do with the power of the rooster miraculous, but there is absolutely no indication of that. I like to imagine the writers have a “word of the day” calendar at the office, and when they learned the word sublimation they were like, “hollllyyyy shit you guys, we need more people to know about this”.

4) Daddycop

I expect this to be a Sabrina-centric development episode and would be shocked if it’s not. Her relationship with Roger is pretty interesting since they seem to be on good, loving terms, yet he’s okay with all the Chloe bs and seems apathetic or ignorant to how Sabrina was being treated. Maybe we’ll see some rebellion from her now that she hangs out with other people.

The akuma’s name, to me, implies that Sabrina will be responsible for Roger’s akumatization or at least the main focus of it. Maybe he will become overly protective of her and target anyone who fucks with her or worry that she’s straying from the right path and exaggeratedly try to correct her behavior.

Sabrina’s behavior up to around Penalteam was likely informed by Roger’s influence, possibly more-so than Chloe’s. He had this “doing what you’re told is right” mindset that he instilled in his daughter, so in this episode, she might help him unlearn it. As a cop, he was always mindlessly bossed around by Mayor Bourgeois, so since Andre is gone, Roger will have to think for himself more.

5) Papys Garous/Werepapas

Continuing the theme of dramatic dads, the consensus seems to be that this will be Tom and probably Rolland. I’m not sure why, but Marinette’s always getting up to some silly billy antics, so. Tom doesn’t seem to have any issue with Adrien and idk what type of beef is gonna start for the grandpa to get involved. It might be some misunderstanding situation or another “Chat Noir is on our fucking balcony again, get the broom” moment.

It might very well be the mom and dad though, not the dad and grandpa. People have been talking about how it’s unrealistic that Marinette has been able to keep huge secrets from her parents for so long, so they might snap this time, not because of Adrien, but because she’s been acting shady herself. They might assume she’s getting into trouble. People have been long speculating that Sabine will learn Ladybug’s identity soon, so maybe she will finally have to tell her parents in a situation similar to gang of secrets.

6) Princesse Syren/Sleeping Syren

Ondine yayyyy! Yay! Ondine. Possibly a Kimdine episode to redeem Kim after they ruined his character for no reason and everyone got really mad because it didn’t even make sense. Remember when the instas were still a thing Alya had a post like “hanging out at the pool! Ondine is so awesome idk what she sees in Kim” or something. Yeah. How’d he pull a baddie like her if he’s been acting the way they’ve been showing him to act? Makes no cents luv. I’m dying to see more of their relationship, more of her, and some repair of what they’ve done to Kim.

It sounds like they might be doing some kind of sleeping beauty retelling? Idk how that would make Syren a threat if she’s asleep the whole time, but maybe she’ll still be doing the whole flooding the city with tears thing while she’s sleeping.

I also really hope Ondine will be attending their school now. I want to see her interact with other characters and become more relevant. Please give The People (me) what they want (official Ondine street clothes design). Also they’ve been introducing too many lamely designed girl characters with average heights and athletic-skinny body types. We need the 6ft swole girl to balance them out.

7) El Toro de Piedra

This name is so Ivan-coded that I’m tempted to just say that it’s not him, but why would they make an intentionally misleading Ivan clone. The name is concerning because it sounds like a mix of stoneheart and his hero persona. That makes me think maybe he’ll get akumatized AS Minotaurox. His arc has been about how he’s scared to accidentally harm others because being the first akuma bothered him so deeply. If he’s in a situation where he has to act tough or use force as a hero, he might become upset, worrying that he’s going overboard. I can see him cracking if his fight against an akuma ends up getting a civilian hurt in the crossfire or with someone being scared of him afterwards. Having his regular/akuma and hero forms mix together could compromise his identity.

Also I guess he’s Hispanic? *sonic voice* I didn’t know that. I remember a long while ago they said in an interview to look forward to Ivan lore which is one of the things I am most excited for this season. He is probably THE most underrated character in the show and most overdue for development.

8) Vampigami

Guys I hate to say it. I really hate to say it. My heart wants this to be vampire Kagami sooooo bad but my brain says we aren’t allowed to have nice things. I already suggested a Kagami akuma earlier, and she can totally get akumatized several times a season again because her mom hates her, but I’m not ready to be disappointed like this. I want her to become a badass evil vampire and acquire a Ben 10 arsenal of villain forms, but Vampigami is probably gonna be some stupid shit like Optigami except it looks like a bat instead of a butterfly this time.

I really don’t know what to seriously expect. I can’t imagine vamp referring to anything other than vampire, although it can also mean patching/editing like the word revamp. Gami has only been used in a senti name before to mean oragami. Idk man vampire Kagami is so engrained in my mind that I can’t come up with anything else. Like to charge reblog to cast. Let’s manifest that the writers have finally tuned in to what the people want.

9) Monsieur/Mister Agreste

This has got to be the episode that introduces Adrien’s grandparents, right? Meaning his grandpa is gonna be Gabriel’s dad and the title could stand for three generations of Mr. Agrestes. I’m surprised we haven’t heard much about them yet, but since Gabriel’s dead, it makes sense they’d come around to get his affairs in order or attend the funeral etc etc.

We got a big movie about Emilie’s history and her noble family, but all we know about the Agrestes is that they weren’t rich, and they sold fries. But there’s the weird part: wouldn’t Gabriel’s parents be the Grassettes? How much do they know about his life after he moved out? This episode might show us more about where it all went wrong for the Gabriel of this timeline. Maybe his dad will get akumatized because Gabriel abandoned their family, and he’ll become Mr. Agreste instead of Mr. Grassette to try to fit himself back into Gabriel’s fake narrative. He’ll turn into a rich asshole old guy because he thinks that’s the type of dad Gabriel would have wanted instead of his real self. Dang that’s sad.

10) Le Chateau Noir/The Dark Castle

My first reaction was Chat Noir, but I saw someone say Darkblade which makes so much more sense. I mean Chat Noir getting akumatized is an avengers-level threat, and last time it happened he blew up like everything, plus the episode was pretty late into the season.

Darkblade fits pretty well with the castle thing since he’s a knight. He lost yet another mayoral election, unable to even blame it on corruption this time. On top of it all, the new, fairly elected mayor is his old coworker from school who also didn’t have much political experience. Ouch.

11) Revelator

I’m getting Reverser from the name but only vaguely. This sounds like a similar type of villain to Gold Record who forces people to reveal something about themselves. Maybe this episode will go into how suddenly having secret identities is affecting the other characters’ relationships like Gang of Secrets again or Truth/Lies. If the akuma’s power has to do with revealing secrets, someone may get their identity exposed on accident like in Wishmaker. By that I mean a reveal between characters other than the akuma and the secret they want to find out.

12) Psyconductrice/Wreckless Driver

My first thought here was Max’s mom because she’s a train engineer, but the name seems to imply cars specifically. Totally unrelated, but remember that one poll on here about who’s the hottest MILF in miraculous, and Claudie Kante was in dead last by a lot, even way behind Audrey with her fuckass Anna Wintour bob and horrible child abusing bitter personality? Yeah you all have horrible taste. Democracy is dead and I hope everyone is happy being so goddamn ignorant and wrong. /hj.

On the topic of moms this could still be someone’s mom. I’ve brought up the pattern before: many moms are associated with a mode of transportation that are connected to their villain form. Car: Tomoe, boat: Anarka, train: Claudie, motorcycle: Gina. We could get a bus driver mom, or a trucker or taxi or racecar driver. Imagine. I’ve been saying we need a pilot mom.

Even if this isn’t anyone’s mom, it might be a new character. Idk who else it could be of existing characters.

13) Yaksi Gozen

This bitch again. Boo. I mean she IS super badass actually, but can we comically pull her offstage with a long hooked cane and let someone else have the screentime? I gotta say I am interested in her as a major villain but. Her akuma was cool the first two times and it’s time to calm down.

Clearly there’s something new about her this time. When looking up what yaksi means, it brings up yakshi, a type of nature spirit, but nothing that actually matches with “yaksi”. Maybe she’ll run a greenwashing campaign with her company? That reminds me of Mega Leech and how she wasn’t held accountable for her involvement in that scenario. If she comes under fire, she might get herself akumatized on purpose Collector-style to save face. Does anyone know if yaksi means something else? I’m not convinced it’s supposed to be yakshi without the h.

14) Couchorak/Grendiaper

Gigantitan vibes, possibly a powered-up version of him. When Hawkmoth first akumatized the baby, it was by mistake, and he ended up regretting it because he was hard to control and useless to his cause. Would Lila akumatize a baby on purpose, or is this an accident too? Since there’s a time skip, baby August would be a year older as well, so he’d actually be a toddler now, which might make him less unpredictable.

A shot in the dark I’m gonna make is that this might be Ivan’s younger sister. We know he has one, and while we don’t know her age, it sounds like she’s probably a toddler. We also know that he’s interested in childcare as a career. If I had to guess, I’d say he probably takes care of her often, which might be what gave him the idea. If she gets akumatized, it would be a great setup for his superhero focus episode.

15) La Redresseuse/The Ruler

My hottest take on this whole post is that this one is Mendeleev. Isn’t she the principal now or something? Idk but she’s a strict teacher who needs order, so I think the name matches her because 1: rulers are school supplies, especially for a science teacher who needs everything to be measured exactly, 2: ruler meaning leader with a totalitarian connotation, 3: the French title means straightener which connects to disciplining students or controlling how the school is run.

I think she’ll get akumatized because her students lack respect for her, and her strictness makes them dislike her which actually hurts her feelings as seen in the NY special. She might have a hard time adjusting to this new school system and her new role, not seeing the same positive relationships Bustier and Damocles held with the kids. She’ll go way overboard and turn into an evil school-themed dictator to try and regain control, but then learn her own lesson.

16) Noe

This is most likely a new character or something, but I love the idea that it’s just like, evil Zoe. Zoen’t. Noe.

OR imagine if it’s a more powerful version of Nino’s brother because it’s Noel but without the L, meaning this time, he won’t be taking the L. Coincidence? I think not. He is Lila’s pawn or whatever after all.

In all seriousness I have no idea what this is and the name could mean a lot of things, so I’m gonna just go with a completely new character.

17) La Fee De Beaux Reves/A Fairy Good Night

This is so Pigella energy. Not Rose, Pigella. In Jubilation, we saw how terrifying her power is when used for evil, trapping people in their own daydreams. Maybe she’ll struggle with nightmares or sleep problems and turn into an akuma that forces everyone to get stuck in imagined utopian illusions so they can “rest”. This idea is kind of the opposite of Sandboy and Nightormentor. I’d love to see more of her power and how it can be used for both good and evil, especially since a lot of people seem to think it’s useless or too situational.

18) Les Crassetastrophes/The Dirtifiers

This might be the little kids in another obligatory babysitting episode. The villain name is plural, so it could be a comic relief moment where the kids get mad because they don’t want to clean up or something silly. Otherwise maybe this is another pollution situation? I’m leaning more towards children, though. Another possibility is that we might be getting our first animal akumas.

19) Riginarazione

So I’m pretty set on this being Lila herself. Italian words? Check. Villain name having “queen” (rigina) in it because they can’t be too creative? Check. I’m guessing the pun is supposed to be regeneration rather than “queen ration” so maybe she’s gonna make herself some sort of nearly invincible self-healing villain.

20) Renverse-cœurs/Heartfixer

This sounds like that monstrosity Andre and Audrey turned into. Heart Hunter. I had to Google the name because I erased it from my mind. Out of all the old villains, I’m surprised this is one they’d choose to revamp since it was such a jumpscare, but I can see how they’d want to revisit it in the context of the Bourgeois’s messed up relationship since they were more of a temporary joke villain the first time. Maybe we’ll get some backstory on Chloe and Zoe as kids and who this Lee guy is who’s supposed to be Zoe’s American Dad (goooood morning, USA!). Based on the akuma name… maybe they’re gonna get less divorced. Wouldn’t that be a shocker? Audrey character development? Or maybe they’ll feel the need to keep it together for the kids.

21) Les Titans Chaines/The Chained Titans

I have no idea but it sounds awesome. Clearly more than one person. My first thought was s5 finale energy with the miraculized, like a whole mob of people sharing the same negative emotions. The metal vibes make me think maybe Couffaine family just because they’re so dramatic, and Jagged was a titan in the music industry who didn’t want to feel chained down? Kind of a stretch perhaps. Of course, it could be something new.

22) Lady Chaos

I’m saying Marinette akuma idc. I know people have been making this prediction for the past couple seasons and the writers were saying no but. Episode 22 is the one where shit goes down. Now that Bunnyx is active full time and there’s an entire team of other superheroes, there’s finally a chance to beat her if she does turn evil. I’m guessing it’s gonna be a bad timeline one like the Adrien akumas.

My concern with this type of ep is that they’d Mary Sue her and be like “her power levels are so high that nobody stands a chance against her, the best ladybug ever” even with like 20 heroes fighting her. I don’t think it’d be too bad though, because thinking about Chat Blanc, if she instantly blows up the whole world and the goal is just to undo that timeline, it’d probably be about equivalent.

23) Tristanansi

Using triste in two of the French akuma names is uh… we couldn’t come up with anything more creative? Anyway obv Nora so this could once again be a Nino episode like the first, but it could also (more likely imo) be an Alya one. Nora has a fiery personality and strong opinions so maybe Lila could’ve taken advantage of that to manipulate her kind of like what happened with Jalil. We were briefly introduced to a character who is her friend or boyfriend last season, and he may be more relevant this time, like maybe they have a fight. Similar to Sentibubbler, maybe Lila is targeting Alya’s family to try and get information out of her or steal the fox miraculous.

24) La Reine de Frayeurville/Queen of the Dreadzone

Other people have been saying this could be a Halloween special but… I want to say this might be a powered up Horrificator. This might be one of those episodes where they make it more lighthearted before the finale, and we haven’t seen her act on her own since s1 which is like the whole point of her akuma. She isn’t effective at all in groups and everyone’s been kinda desensitized to what’s supposed to be scary about her. Maybe they’re bringing her back scarier. Mylene has come far with her phobias, so they’d need something to really scare her.

I remember something about a proposed Halloween special taking place in the catacombs, which is coincidentally where Lila’s lair is. There might be a connection where the gang figures out she’s there, and something spooky goes wrong while investigating. The Paris catacombs are an understandable place to get scared in and a great setting for horror.

25) Protocole Secret/Secret Protocol

26) Nemesis

^^^ Ok I don’t know what specifically to say about the finale except that they’re probably gonna fight self-akumatized Lila since they tend to be kind of unpredictable.

What I do want to do is bring everything together and point out that Lila knows the identities of like half the heroes from the beginning because she stole Nathalie’s iPad or whatever happened. In Miracle Queen: Alya, Nino, Luka, Kagami, Kim, and Max had their identities revealed, which was relevant again in Optigami. Alix didn’t even try to keep a secret. Lila can easily connect that five of these people are her former classmates and all of them are friends, so she must have figured out that the rest of the heroes are also from their group. In the London special, it didn’t take a lot of hard work to uncover Marinette’s identity. She also targeted Kagami last season on a personal level. Side note, I have no clue if she knows Felix is Argos or not. That point is unclear to me, but I’m gonna assume she does since Gabriel knew.

We have Marinette, Adrien, Juleka, Rose, Mylene, Ivan, Zoe, Marc, Nath, and Sabrina left in the safe zone. I predicted most of these characters will get akumatized, and I believe Lila will be targeting them on an individual level under the suspicion that they’re on the team. It’s likely that she will even expose some if not a lot of them. In fact, she might have gone after Ondine as a red herring because she’s friends with them and King Monkey’s gf. From her perspective, Marinette could be one of the superheroes just as easily as anyone else could.

I’m not too worried about Adrien since he’s been the best at staying secretive, and Lila might not even suspect him because of the idealized yet untrue preconceived notions she has about him.

She may also be going down the list to see who does and doesn’t show up to each fight, making ladybug feel the need to call the minimum number of people to help her, which would solve the narrative problem of “why can’t ladybug sic the whole team on every akuma”. Discounting any Mirage tricks, having a certain hero help fight an akuma would tell Lila that the akuma is for sure not that hero. And obviously if every hero except one shows up that’s uh… suspicious.

Something very interesting is that out of all these characters, the episode I predicted to focus on Sabrina is one where the akuma is not her. Perhaps Lila will overlook her because she only recently made new friends, thinking she’d never be trusted with a miraculous. This same mistake of underestimating Sabrina is what led to her downfall the first time, so it’d be poetic if Sabrina managed to play the spy twice.

I did not predict any of these episodes to potentially be a Juleka akuma, but you know this girl will never in her life catch a break, especially with the rest of the pattern I’ve laid out above. Which episode do you think is secretly gonna be Reflekta? I guarantee you it’s one of them.

As a final note, I think Nathalie will be instrumental in helping the team identify Lila as the villain. They’re very unlikely to defeat her this season for good, but Nathalie knew about Lila’s little internship with Gabriel, and she was the one who originally had all the grimoire pages and Optigami identity data digitalized. She may recognize that information has been stolen or connect that Lila may have had the opportunity to physically take the butterfly miraculous by entering the lair. She’s in a unique spot because she’s the only one who knows this much about Lila’s villain plans, but also knows Ladybug’s identity now. I’m interested to see her role as a redeemed ally to the team.

Aaaaand that’s my novel length essay. Thanks for making it to the end. As always, I’m interested in hearing what other people think! (I feel like a YouTuber doing an outro lol) I’m excited to see the first episode soon which is actually gonna be the second episode I guess. So close! Off to an incredible start. I want to hear other theories!